I was listening to “The Girls” by Megan Moroney — a song that perfectly captures the longevity and solidity of female friendships—when I realized just how little we talk about this kind of love. Platonic love. The ride-or-die kind. The “you’re crying, I’m already on the way” kind.
I’ll never forget the moment everything clicked between me and my college girlfriends. All of a sudden, the jokes were funnier, the teasing more relentless, and I felt like I could turn to them with any success or hardship I faced. Late-night talks about our toughest moments, celebrations over the smallest achievements, and collective scream-fests to Taylor Swift — every single moment shaped some of the strongest connections I’ve ever known.
Platonic love is powerful, but it’s often overlooked in a world that’s so obsessed with romance, flirtation, and infatuation. Your two-month situationship might be especially exciting, but your girls are stabilizing. Female friendship is just as deep and life-shaping, and sometimes even more comforting than romantic relationships. It’s so important to honor all of life’s joys. To find your people is to find happiness in the smallest of moments, and we can get so lost in life’s rollercoaster that we forget to honor these minor moments, because they’re not so minor after all.
Late Night Convos
We’ve had some of the most raw, thought-provoking conversations at the most random times — 11:00 p.m. the night before I have a midterm I should definitely be studying for, 4:00 a.m. crying after a night out (we’ve all been there), or 10:00 a.m. over breakfast in the dining hall. We talk about everything: childhood wounds, irrational fears, career dreams. There’s no judgment. Just safety, laughter, and space to feel and be felt.
Sending Each Other TikToks
It’s more than just a random “brain rot” video. It’s the “this reminded me of you” or the “I saw this and knew you’d understand.” It’s more akin to a modern-day love note — except in this form, it’s the dumbest AI-generated video of Shrek I have ever seen. And somehow, we just get it. I wouldn’t trade any sense of normalcy for the weird jokes my friends and I develop. That’s the magic.
holding each other’s hands in a crowded party
It’s the unspoken safety net — reaching out and grabbing your friend’s hand while trekking through an uncomfortably packed frat party. That small squeeze indicates that they’ve got you, and in my case, that they are not going to let me wander off on some mysterious side-quest. It’s a solid, symbolic anchor that keeps me emotionally stable and physically stuck under their responsibility. Nothing feels more quintessentially girlhood than the trail of my friends walking single-file through a crowd. It’s silly, but grounding and protective. It’s simple love.
The group chat
Ah, yes, the infamous group chat. The one that should have three-step, password-locked, facial recognition security levels to be opened. Voice memos, long paragraphs, and news channel reports about campus celebrities — it’s all in there. It keeps us together when we’re apart and hosts some of the most interesting debriefs. We could write novels with the amount of things we’ve unpacked in there — and honestly, they’d be bestsellers.
The magic of it all
Pure female friendship just hits different. It’s safe. It’s unfiltered. Your girls see you for exactly who you are and remind you of that when you forget. They pick you up when you’re down, and they’ll never make you feel guilty for needing help. It’s loyalty without pressure, expectations, or performance. It’s inside jokes, sharing clothes, laughing until you cry, random texts to check in or ask about a tough assignment. It’s resilient. It’s chaotic. It’s nurturing. And it’s healing.
These moments might not make the highlight reel, but they’re everything.
In college, when everything feels like it’s constantly changing, female friendships can be the only steady thing. Between academic pressure, shifting identities, heartbreaks, career fears, and figuring out who we are, it’s our girls who anchor us. They remind us of our worth when the world doesn’t. They celebrate us when we can’t even celebrate ourselves. And sometimes, they just sit next to us in silence when we’re too exhausted to talk. There’s so much emphasis placed on finding the one, like we’re supposed to build our lives around one single person. But what about the many who help shape us along the way? As an ode to one of my favorite Sex and the City quotes, what about the soulmates we find in our platonic girlfriends? What about the ones who saw us ugly cry in pajamas, who watched us fall apart and never judged us for it, who cheered us on for something as small as turning in an assignment we were procrastinating on for two weeks?
Female friendship isn’t just a placeholder for romantic love. It’s a love story in itself — a messy, loud, hilarious, healing, life-affirming one. And the best part? It doesn’t require grand gestures. It lives every day through borrowed lip glosses, silent lock-in sessions, weekly dinners, and inside jokes that make no sense to anyone else. That’s what makes it special. It’s not performative. It’s just real. So if you have a friend — even just one — who makes you feel even a fraction of the love I’ve described, text them. Call them. Hug them. Tell them you’re grateful for all the small things that go unspoken. Life makes us lose sight of so many significant components that shape who we are and what we will be. Stress, love, anger, and sadness can make big joys seem small in comparison to life’s large emotions. Don’t let it. Let the people who matter know it. And if you haven’t found your people yet, don’t fret. Love can and will be found in so many places throughout your journey. I have had very poor friendships, and I’ve been fortunate to find some beautiful ones. My girls are my family, and you will find your family in one way, shape, or form one day.
And as a little cheat code — for me, to my girls:
To the ones who stayed up with me when I didn’t know how to move on, who cried and laughed with me, who joined me in screaming Taylor Swift lyrics in the car, who reminded me I’m so much more than my worst moments— this is for you. Always.