As we say goodbye to summer and welcome crisp autumn weather, we also say a dreaded ‘hello’ to midterm season this October. Undoubtedly, the stress of exams can make the craving for home much stronger, especially with the holidays around the corner. But while all you may need for a reset is your bedroom and a homecooked meal, that can be hard to come by between exams and college responsibilities, especially as an out-of-state or international student who can’t just go home for the weekend. That being said, here are a few of the habits and tips I picked up from my freshman year that made being away from home just a bit more tolerable.
Get Out of Your Head (and Dorm)
Chances are you’re holing up in your dorm studying for your next exam, which may not encourage you to get out and do much. This was the case for my freshman year, as I was overwhelmed by the influx of exams I had, and would often be cooped up in my room studying for my next exam. The stress of exams can be extremely debilitating, especially when you get preoccupied with studying, causing you to start socially isolating without even realizing it.
Taking time to get out of your study space can be a great way to release some stress, whether it’s going on a walk outside, hitting the rec for a workout, or taking a group fitness class! When it came to trying to find something to do that wasn’t sitting in my dorm, I started to go on walks or runs around the rec center’s indoor track, or attend a group spin class, which was a great way for me to get my mind off my exams, and also get a short workout in.
Finding Comfort in Routine
The transition to living away from home can make us anxious about our daily routines, and pressure us to overcompensate. I remember feeling like I had to make the most out of my freshman year because I wasn’t living at home anymore, so I threw myself into extracurriculars and wanted to get involved with everything on campus. Although I was trying to distract myself from missing my life at home, it wasn’t as effective as I thought it’d be. Between the extracurriculars, advanced-level classes, and new environment, I quickly found that I was extremely overworked, which made me long for home even more.
But don’t let my experience deter you from joining and testing out different clubs! Finding a routine can be very comforting because it’s what we crave when we are homesick and missing the simplicity of home. While getting involved is a great way of feeling more at home on campus, just know that finding a routine that works for you and doesn’t overstimulate you is also very important. Joining clubs that keep you actively engaged on campus, as well as make you feel a sense of security can alleviate overwhelming feelings of homesickness!
it’s Okay to Stay in
Similar to my previous point, sometimes we may feel pressure from ourselves to go out every weekend even when exams have worn us thin. Even when all I wanted to do at the end of a tough week was lay in bed and binge Modern Family, I felt compelled to go out, because I thought I wasn’t taking advantage of being able to live with friends and hang out with them daily. I would agree to go do something even when I didn’t have the energy to, and thought over-socializing would’ve made me feel less homesick. Although going out did help ease my mind for a bit, it also made me burn out on parties, and I started to dread going out as much as I dreaded exams.
So to all my girlies who are experiencing freshman FOMO, just remember you are allowed to say no to a night out! College is hard, and so is learning to be an adult, so if what you need is a night to yourself take it! FOMO in college is inevitable, but it’s not worth over-exerting yourself, take it from someone who now only goes out every once in a blue moon.
Call Your Mom
While there’s no cure-all for homesickness, calling your mom is a pretty close contender in my opinion! Even though I schedule time to talk with both my mom and dad on the weekends, sometimes impromptu calls in the middle of the week are good pick-me-ups for when I’m missing home.Â
However, if you’ve been a victim of your mom’s voicemail (like I have sometimes), it’s good to keep in touch with people from your hometown and call them when you start to feel a little detached. I love being able to randomly call my hometown friends and catch up on the lore that’s developed in college, especially as exam season comes to a close. Of course, making new friends is what college is about, but sometimes you need the friends you have the high-school bond with to feel a little more at home.Â
Validate Your Feelings
While all of these are good habits to pick up as you go through college, it’s especially crucial to validate how you feel and understand that it’s okay to be homesick! I used to think homesickness was something that only happened when I wasn’t enjoying myself, and I would often feel bad about missing home when I didn’t think there was a reason to. But I started to realize that the feeling of missing home is something every transitioning adult feels, especially in college. Everyone gets homesick in their own way, but just remember that everyone feels homesick, so if anything, remember you aren’t weird for missing home, and you certainly aren’t alone either!
Hopefully, some of these tips can make you feel a little bit better about being away from home, and give you a sense of community. I didn’t believe I would feel as homesick as I did my first year at UConn, so I wasn’t prepared for the emotional rollercoaster that would be living away from home, and wish I had someone to give me a little bit of guidance. So for all my fellow far-from-home girlies on campus, just know you’re not alone! Everyone gets homesick from time to time, and it’s okay to feel that way. After all, we’re all in the same boat trying to navigate through adulthood and change as best as we can, and sometimes we need the comfort of home to get us through it.