As someone who’s always had parents who have been older than the rest of my peers, I am very passionate about addressing the problems of ageism in society. With my parents slightly older than others, I’ve noticed many differences and am aware that my own parents have at times felt uncomfortable. I feel that this particular problem revolves around the foundation of a society obsessed with youth and staying young. Youth is glorified and is marketed in every way of life, as the optimal state. However, one thing we all can’t control is time. That conflict is directly at odds with each other, which creates tension. As we grow and age, societal norms and standards remain the same so many people feel like they are left behind or downright ignored and discredited.
The Roots of Ageism
Sometimes without malicious intent, people will be ageist to others because it is ingrained in our everyday lives. To be clear, ageism is defined as prejudice or discrimination based on a person’s age. In this context, we are referring to those people in their “golden” years of age sixty or above. In my own life, I remember two clear examples of times my mom and dad have felt awkward given their age. There are outright ageist comments about my dad being my brother’s grandfather when they walked together at the mall or conversations about dreading turning fifty amongst people at a social gathering when my mom was way past fifty. There is a fear of the aging process to those who are young but there is also stigma and judgment about older people. It’s a fascinating and disheartening dilemma because if we are all lucky enough to get older in life, we will age and adjust to life in those years. In almost all avenues of life, there is anti-aging rhetoric because no one wants what comes with getting older. Whether it is the appearance, more aches and pains, varied experiences, or just the different stages of life, people push back. It seems that people don’t like the realities and nearness to death but also the realities that society has implemented because we live in an inherent ageist world. I’m here to discuss ageism in different areas of life, recent news, and reality shows.
Ageism in Hollywood
“It’s like you go from sexy to depends,” said Brooke Shields, a famous actress who started her career back in the late 1970s. Especially for women and actresses, the world is much harsher to them as they get older. They are under intense scrutiny because it’s normal to hold women to different standards and pick them apart. In the media, they praise mothers who get back in shape after having a child and as they age, the tabloids snap pictures to make older women out to be “letting themselves go”. Particularly, there is a clear difference with men, many people have expressed more love for “dilfs” which are older men usually who are fathers that are attractive for their demeanor and energy. It’s again that ageism and misogyny have always worked against women. In film and TV, the female love interest typically stays the same age but the man can get older. You would see Audrey Hepburn in films with Cary Grant or Humphrey Bogart as the love interest when they were much older than her. Not only on the romance side, you have powerhouses like Meryl Streep saying that when she turned forty, she was offered multiple witch roles. Is that not sending a message out?
Aging within the Modeling and Beauty Industry
Starting even earlier than a generation ago due to the ease of social media campaigns, anti-aging remedies and lotions get marketed to the masses. Younger and younger girls are experimenting with retinol and fully developed skincare routines because they want to protect their skin from aging. Another example is I’ve heard girls talking about laughing less so they won’t develop smile lines as they age which is incredibly sad. In addition to awareness about sunscreen which is a positive, people have said they will wear more sunscreen to avoid having blotchy skin or dark spots which can be natural. This sentiment is fueled by the media and established feelings around old age. However, growing up with this around me has made me stop and think about how older people must feel about this. Similar to the beauty industry, the fashion and modeling world is plagued by the same problems.
Once a supermodel hits a certain age, they are dropped and do not walk carpets. The vibrancy of youth is accentuated by models and their outfits, however this is slowly changing. For instance, Naomi Campbell and Cindy Crawford are still working. Hopefully they serve as leaders with more to follow. Despite this, older folks are portrayed as gross, a flawed mindset that we all perpetuate. The elderly are not gross and ugly, but this perspective is what is adopted and I’m here to fight against this. It’s time to wake up and stop being close-minded. Aging is powerful and beautiful because not everyone gets to experience it. It’s time to embrace the beauty of wisdom and experience, along with changing tone.
The Influence of The Golden Bachelor
The recent buzz of the new #Bachelor show has taken the world by storm in the best way. I was immediately drawn to the premise. It’s a reality show series that is beloved by people and they applied their same formula but with those who are sixty and above, in their “golden” years. I am cheering on these wonderful ladies who are getting to experience a second chance at love, empowerment, and fun. Older people, both men and women, aren’t supposed to have social activities or enjoyment for themselves, but this is an opportunity for both Gerry Turner and the women competing for his love to explore their sexuality, friendship, and joy.
The sentiment that echoes across this show is that love and being loved is for everyone of all ages. When we get to a certain age that does not mean that love or other enjoyable experiences cease to exist. The show brings awareness that for many it’s just as lively as ever and should be that way! In addition, the women are for the most part extremely supportive and encouraging of each other. They are seen doing each other’s hair, hyping each other up, and sending words of encouragement which is different from the regular Bachelor shows. The maturity, wisdom, and personality in each person on the show are authentic to witness and see the love and connections blossom. I really believe this show has the power to change perceptions and do good. Read more thoughts on The Golden Bachelor here.
Hope
I have optimism that with recent conversations around aging and from shows like The Golden Bachelor ageism will decrease. I would love to see the world embrace their qualities and looks as they age because change is beautiful. I would love to see films and models reflect all ages because representation matters, there are always more stories to tell. And finally, I hope that as young people we are kinder to our elders. Kindness and inclusion can go a long way.