Being around the same people for all four years of high school could be either irritating or amazing. I can happily say I was able to create lifelong friendships during my high school years. It has been a hard and interesting experience creating friendships in college. There is such a divide between connecting with them on the same level here and with my friends from home. I love the people I surround myself with on campus and they have truly made my first year of college memorable but something is missing — my friends from home. I have gained a lot of knowledge about surrounding yourself with people who want good for you and with people who don’t really care about you.
Balance has been something as a freshman in college I have had to seek. In high school, we are kind of forced to be around the same people. There is no getting out of it. So bonds form and can grow over time as you see what traits you value in people. You go through so many different stages of yourself with these people. I think a huge misconception people have about high school friendships is that you lose them all as soon as you go to college. Of course, I don’t have that much experience, but I know it’s a really scary concept you face when graduating. I love my high school friends and I was truly scared I would lose them once we left for whatever college we chose. This is so far from the truth. From personal experience, I know I do anything in my power to make sure I am still making plans and seeing them as much as possible while away from home. I think that the genuine bond we formed has kept us very close. I don’t feel forced to be their friend. I am able to see them and feel normal again while putting all the stress of college to the side. I want them to be in my life after college and that is attainable. I went to school close to home so the hour drive home is thrilling knowing that I’m about to see my friends again.
For college friends, it has been hard to navigate what I want or need from friends. In the beginning, it felt like I needed my friend group to be formed fast, or else I wouldn’t have fun. Luckily I was given the opportunity to take classes in the summer so I had formed friendships earlier than most. I latched onto them immediately once I was on campus for the first few weeks. I then realized that I didn’t know if everyone in my circle was the people I wanted to continue my college journey with. I want people to know that that is completely okay. When you talk to adults or people who have previously experienced college they create this mindset that only your college friends will be lifelong friends. With this mindset it made me feel forced to make a friend group no matter who they were. I now have friends I connect with and am really happy with. They aren’t like my high school friends but I also need to realize that this is just the first semester and time makes bonds stronger. We connect more living together on campus and finding ourselves in the new world of adulthood. We can go to class together and complain about how hard it is to understand what is going on in class. I love the freedom we are given in the sense that you can really see what you and your friends really bond over.
As time passes I do think I will gain more college friends that will feel like they will be lifelong. Everything in college is a transition from high school. The people, the work, and just the overall environment. I want incoming college students to know it’s okay to not find your people as soon as you get onto campus. You’re finding yourself and what works best for you which can be a lot at once. It’s so different from the way we have been going to school from Pre-K to 12th grade. I’m so happy I have friends from both parts of my life. College is tough and my friends have been able to help me navigate what works best for me to make sure I am doing my best in school. I have meshed both my friends from home and from college and it is honestly the best thing ever. We can all go to parties or out to eat together and it just works. I want this to continue throughout all four years of college and I know with a balance of both that can happen.