Graduating next week means a lot of things. I’m moving on from a lot of great memories and experiences. While I will be saying goodbye to a lot of positive aspects of college, there is one thing I realized recently that I have become particularly excited about leaving behind: college boys. While I am NOT grieving the loss of the male population on this campus, I thought it might be fun to reflect on some of the insane sentences I’ve heard come out of the mouths of men during my time in undergrad. Allow me to rate them on a scale of truly shocking, to what else is new?
1. “I like girls who are tall and skinny” → 5/10
Don’t care, and didn’t ask! If a guy is so shallow that he’ll share his slightly offensive opinions with girls he’s not even great friends with, you probably don’t want to find out what else he’d be comfortable telling you. Men seem to forget that even though you’re friends, there are certain lines you shouldn’t cross. Maybe that’s a me thing, but I don’t want my guy friends to feel comfortable objectifying other women in front of me or give me a reason to be self-conscious of my own body.
2. “You should know that guys don’t like feminists.” → 4/10
Oh, really? I couldn’t tell! The whole conversation on feminism amongst my peers in college has been an exhausting feat. For so long, I was the girl who claimed NOT to be a feminist in front of guys because I wanted to be thought of as the cool girl, someone the guys could confide in and shoot the shit with. Well, what I learned is that I absolutely do not want to be the girl guys confide in. There is a reason male locker room talk happens behind closed doors — it’s bad enough these things are going to get said, but having to witness it as a woman and feel like I have to ‘remain cool’ or I’ll lose my chill standing with the guys has been a truly defeating experience and I don’t think I want to do it anymore.
3. “You were influenced by the media to be bisexual” → 7/10
This one is more upsetting just because of how frustrating it is. Trying to defend my sexuality to someone and prove that I’m attracted to both genders is an impossible task. If someone is homophobic or biphobic, so be it. I’m not here to list off all the people I’ve had sexual relations with or try to explain in words an innate feeling. I also don’t have the energy to explain that my sexuality has been something I’ve been aware of since I was fourteen, it didn’t change the first time I watched a TikTok, thank you very much.
Bonus: “You’re gonna make me walk home with blue balls?” Just because it’s a classic! → 1/10
4. “I was busy so it was hard to keep you on my mind.” → 9/10
This one hurt because it came from someone who I thought cared about me. The fact that I was sick for a week and he was ready to move on was mind-blowing. Lack of empathy. Lack of awareness. General cruelty. Let’s move on, shall we?
5. “He’s planning to use you.” *laughs* → 8/10
The shock of this statement probably made it more hurtful than it actually had to be. Long story short, this guy didn’t want me talking to his friend who I had planned to go home with that night, and I guess that was his way of dissuading my interest while also reducing me to a notch on a belt.
6. “You’re kind of being a tease.” → 6/10
During freshman year I was new to many things and communicating that I preferred not to partake in certain activities was sometimes an issue for the guy. I’ve since learned not to hang out with guys that pressure me and I’ve also learned to give a firm no and stick to it. The amount of times I gave into something I didn’t want to do for the sake of pleasing someone makes me sad. I’m sure a lot of girls can relate.
7. “If the girl is beautiful, I guess it doesn’t matter if she’s not in a sorority.” → 5/10
Ahh, so glad I stopped chasing men in frats. I was more embarrassed for this kid to hear that come out of his mouth than I was offended. The part that is comical to me now is that he said this like it was truly something he took time to realize. I thought mechanical engineers were supposed to be smarter than that…
8. “I won’t see you again for a while so I’ll be sad if I leave here without getting off.” → 2/10
This type of comment is more so annoying than anything else. If I say no, he acts visibly annoyed and we end on bad terms, making me feel like I wasted the last two hours of my life when I could have just gone to sleep. This is another one of those examples where women do things not exactly against their will, but against their desire to keep a man happy. No guy that truly cares about you would guilt trip you like this. Remember that!
9. “Just warning you, a guy is not gonna like that.” → 4/10
I find that I’m told this anytime I show aspects of my personality that challenge a man’s opinion. If you’d prefer a girl who remains passive to the disrespectful things you say, just say that next time.
10. “You can get birth control free from SHAW. Would you mind getting on it so I can come inside you?” → 10/10
A friend reminded me of this comment the other day and I was ten times more appalled than I was freshman year when I first heard it. I hadn’t even lost my virginity yet, so this kid was getting a bit ahead of himself. I think he could tell I was inexperienced and tried to take advantage of that. Luckily, I was able to recognize the ridiculousness of his proposal and I began phasing him out of my life. Truly a classic looking back, and I don’t think another comment will ever top this.
Now that I’m graduating, I’m slightly worried that I’ll be exiting one pool of intolerable men and entering a new, different, but not so much better, one. In fact, I’m sure I’ll have a new list of awful quotes this time next year. Lucky for me though, my feelings regenerate pretty fast! Reflecting back on these moments now that time has passed, I’m no longer angry, I kind of actually feel bad for these men.
Well, not all of them…stay safe out there my friends.