Nessa Barrett is one of many TikTok stars trying their hand at music, and arguably her’s is one of the most successful attempts. Nessa released her first single, “Pain,” in 2020, before creating a more established sound for herself with her EP, pretty poison, in 2021. Through pretty poison, Nessa seems to find herself as an artist with a grungy-pop sound and deeply personal messages. On October 14, 2022, Nessa released her first full-length album, young forever, which provides a dark account of her life growing up on the Internet while struggling with fame and mental health.
Look past tiktok
I fell into this trap, and I’m cautioning you against it, but just because an artist started on TikTok it doesn’t mean their music should be discredited. As our world goes increasingly digital, artists being found on social media is a natural occurrence because of the platform social media provides. After all, Justin Bieber and Shawn Mendes were discovered through YouTube.
Despite Spotify recommending the album for weeks, I only listened to it after watching Nessa’s interview with Zach Sang for his “Zach Sang Show.” The interview is incredibly personal, which helped me to look past the TikTok facade and see Nessa through an artist lens. Throughout the interview, Nessa is extremely open about her life, as she talks about mental health, her creative process, and most notably, the loss of her best friend, Cooper Noriega. She then interestingly reflects on how the album, which was completed before Cooper’s death and her subsequent admission to a mental hospital, seems to foreshadow these events.
track by track
*Trigger warning: mentions of mental illness and suicide.
Young forever, like pretty poison, is sonically grungy, dark pop with some elements of rock. Lyrically, the album starts by addressing Nessa’s fame before slowly progressing into the dark depths of her mental state. The opening track, “tired of california,” discusses Hollywood culture which is best encapsulated in the line: “where the real thing comes as often as the California rain.” Through the song, Nessa highlights her struggle in finding genuine people amid the highly-competitive culture of Los Angeles.
Tracks two and three, “gaslight” and “talk to myself,” shift to addressing issues more personal to Nessa’s fame. “Gaslight” is about cheating, which on a Call Her Daddy episode she reveals is why her relationship with Jaden Hossler ended. “Talk to myself” deals with the amount of hate Nessa receives as an online figure but is nuanced by the fact that she is just as hard, if not harder, on herself. The song is the first time on the album Nessa mentions her struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts: “If you think that you can make me cry / Well, me, myself and I / Make me wanna die.” The detailing of her depression and suicide continues in “fuckmarrykill”, which shows Nessa’s blossoming as an artist as she experiments with wordplay. Fuck, marry, kill is a popular game, often naming public figures, but Nessa evolves it to fit different aspects of her life.
From there, the album pivots to Nessa’s relationship with God, one she discusses finding after Cooper’s passing in her interview with Zach Sang. In “dear god” Nessa asks and tries to reconcile with why she is constantly hurting mentally. Track six, “forgive the world,” builds on this while taking a slightly happier turn, as the lyrics discuss finding someone who makes her world bearable. This slightly happier trajectory continues into the next track, “too hot to cry,” which is Nessa’s take on a female-empowerment song. While the song doesn’t top my list of songs to scream after a break-up, it fits the album with its darker tone and connection to mental health.
“Madhouse” was released as the second single off of young forever, as Nessa’s favorite song she’s ever made, and it’s easy to see why. The song is one of the most sonically and lyrically cohesive with a circus-sounding track backing the vocals which lyrically take on two meanings. The first is Nessa feeling trapped in her body, illustrated through her reference to suicide attempts. The lyrics also discuss how she is perceived by the public, including being depicted as “batshit crazy.” The song is one that eerily foreshadows her life as within months of writing the song Nessa was admitted to a mental hospital.
“Unnecessary violence” serves as the transition into the final tracks of the album. The song continues the theme of the effects that words can have. Like “madhouse,” “unnecessary violence” could be about Nessa in the public sphere where people say whatever they want without considering their impact, but the lyrics also apply to a relationship where someone is lead-on by lies their partner tells them. In these final tracks of the album, Nessa grapples with wanting to stay in a relationship that she clearly loves but recognizes isn’t healthy for her.
Track ten, “lovebomb,” is one of the softer tracks of the album. In the song, Nessa tries to reconcile with a partner after a mental health episode that damaged their relationship. Following “lovebomb,” “decay” is sonically similar to “madhouse” with haunting sounds in the track and references to the creepy, but at its core is an endearing message of young love. In the song, Nessa recognizes people are doubting her relationship because they “like to hurt each other,” yet she commits herself fully to her partner saying “I’d still want you when we’re six feet in the ground.” The idea of death do us part continues into the next song, “die first,” which is about realizing there is no easy way to leave a relationship because “someone dies or someone gets hurt.” Nessa later remarks about the way the song took on new meaning after the sudden death of Cooper, and dedicates the song to him as it was his favorite of hers.
Finally, track thirteen, “lucky star,” despite its short length and simplicity, is one of the strongest tracks ideologically, connecting the main themes of the album. The song’s religious references, such as “waiting ’til heaven’s on my side” and “the angels will protect me,” tie to the religious awakening Nessa had while writing the album which she explores in “dear god” and “forgive the world.” The romantic relationship which fueled much of young forever is also mentioned in “lucky star” when she says, “for you to save my heart / but it just kept on breakin’.” Finally, Nessa’s struggle with mental health come through clearly as the album ends with the lines: “who am I now? / I can’t control / my decaying soul.” Continuing with the raw honesty of the album, it doesn’t end with everything being perfect. Instead, Nessa’s youth, although not marked by innocence, is highlighted as she reflects on still not knowing who exactly she is which, for the moment at least, makes her young forever.
what’s next
For a first album, young forever is a strong showing. The album gives Nessa a distinct sound in a pop world where it’s easy to become lost in the crowd and has solidified her as more than just a pretty TikTok-er. The young forever story hasn’t ended yet, however, as Nessa announced an extended version of the album will be released on November 18th with five new songs. In the meantime, I highly recommend listening to young forever as the album is an eerie yet hauntingly beautiful account of the effects of mental illness and the dark side of stardom.
Resources
- If you or someone you know is considering self-harm or experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741.
- If you or someone you know is seeking help for mental health concerns, visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website, or call 1-800-950-NAMI(6264). For confidential treatment referrals, visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website, or call the National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP(4357). In an emergency, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255) or call 911.