At the time of writing this article, I have been at college for a few weeks (approximately 17 days and counting) and the biggest challenge of college so far hasn’t been living with a roommate, sharing a communal bathroom, or even the feelings of loneliness and anxiety. The biggest challenge has been a realization I learned within the first 24 hours: my mom has done so much for me my entire life and much of it I’ve taken for granted. Here are just a few examples from my growing list:
- Doing my laundry. My mom has done my laundry (and has often folded my laundry) my entire life. I’ve never had to think about it very hard; I would go up to my room and my laundry would be there, nicely and neatly folded. It’s not rocket science, I realize, but it’s still laundry and a chore I never thought about until three weeks ago.
- Feeding me. My mom has also cooked dinner for me for (more or less) my entire life. Now, she isn’t an amazing chef (and she would admit this herself, so it’s not an insult), but I’ve just never had to think about my meals. At home, my meals would just appear so I didn’t have to worry about what I wanted to eat and how to access it. Not that I’m doing much cooking right now, but going to the dining hall has made me understand how much time goes into preparing meals.
- Helping me with school. My mom has always been my biggest supporter of my education and she has always been there when I needed help with homework and studying. It took me up until my first day of classes to understand that my mother wouldn’t be able to help me (or at least not as much) in college; I’ll have to rely on myself and learn to be a responsible and resourceful college student, and that realization was very overwhelming.
So when I was washing my clothes for the first time, did I accidentally forget the Tide Pod and stupidly wash my clothes with only water? Maybe. But did I figure it out, wait 45 minutes for another washer to open up, and successfully wash my clothes for the first time? Yup. And did I stand in the middle of the dining hall the first few times completely overwhelmed with all the different types of foods I could eat? Of course. But did I quickly realize how lost I probably looked, accessed my options, and walked out with a (somewhat) decent meal in my stomach? Certainly. And did I cry the first day of classes when my class was online because of COVID-19, and it brought me right back to my 15-year-old self dreading online classes and the pandemic? Perhaps. But did I calm down (maybe with the help of a phone call with my mom) and get through my first college class with minimal issues? Sure did.
All of these little trials and tribulations were hard, of course. But I figured them out. I can handle laundry and classes and virtually everything else college decides to throw at me. I have faith in myself. But the point isn’t that my mother has been missed dearly because she makes my life easier. She’s been missed because she makes my life valuable and her absence has been felt tenfold. Her company, wisdom, and laughter have raised me and she has taught me so many things about life and love and being kind in an unkind world. Some of my best memories have my mother in them laughing with me and some of my worst memories have my mother next to me holding me close. I can do without her laundry and mediocre cooking skills, yes, but can I do without the things that are so much more than just household chores? Can I do without all the things that make her a great mother and not just a good one? That’s something I’ll have to figure out, and it might take a very long time.
So please, whether you’re a freshman and completely lost, or a senior with this whole adult thing under control, call your mother and thank her. She loves you beyond measure. And if you can’t thank your mother, thank a grandmother, a boyfriend’s mom, a friend’s mom, or any mom in your life who might not be your mom but is still a wonderful mother nonetheless. They deserve your appreciation and love; you can breathe and laugh and grow and mess up your laundry and break down in tears because of them. And if you consider yourself strong, you have your mother to thank, strong women raise strong women. Much love to all the moms out there!