When you enter your 20s and are still single, everyone seems to have an opinion on it or question why that is. Whether it’s at a family gathering or catching up with an old friend, they never miss a beat when it comes to your love life. They give you that look like they know they’re about to pry into your personal life, but do it anyway. Questions include, “So are you seeing anyone?”, “Do you have a boyfriend?”, and, “Are you talking to anyone special?” I don’t know why people think that’s such a casual question. I mean, even going to get a hair cut means being interrogated about your relationship status. I usually say a quick “no” and try to change the topic because it’s not only super uncomfortable, but also pretty awkward. The main reason I dislike this question so much is because it is one of the first questions people ask. I wish people would realize that my thoughts are not constantly occupied by this need or drive to be in a relationship.
We as young women have so many other things going for us in my life, and I wish people would bother to ask us about that instead. Ask us how we’re doing, how school and work is going, or what our future plans are. We are way more than our relationship statuses.
I am not constantly moping around sad because I do not have a boyfriend; that does not define who I am.
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Here are a few ways you can respond when the next person questions your relationship status:Â
“I have a hard enough time committing to a food order, so forget a human being.”
“A relationship would cut into my Netflix time, so that’s a no.”
“I haven’t found someone just as great as me yet.”
“I basically hate everyone.”
“Why do you ask, are you interested?”
“Yes, and proud.”
“I’m doing me right now and building my empire.”
“I’m focused on myself and don’t have time for anyone else.”
“I’ve been in a relationship with myself for quite a while, I think I’m the one!”
“Because it’s awesome.” (Duh.)
“Let’s talk about my killer job promotion instead.”
“I’m young and healthy, I’m in no rush.”
There’s often a stigma to being single that we’re unhappy and constantly seeking someone to “complete us”. However, that is far from the case. We should not seek out a relationship because we don’t want to be alone, we should look for someone who complements us as who we are. After all, we are whole all by ourselves. There are many reasons why someone is single. It could be based on timing, the person, the situation, etc. Whatever the case, it’s that person’s business and not something that should be constantly questioned or gawked at. It’s important to remember it’s not a race to be in a relationship. You should do what works best for you, and if that’s being single, then own it.Â
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