You either have it, know someone who does, or have never heard of it. Unfortunately, the psychological occurrence of impostor syndrome is difficult to explain, especially because a lot of the time, the people who lack understanding over impostor syndrome aren’t usually open to acknowledging it as a problem anyway. As we age, impostor syndrome becomes more apparent as we attempt to self-actualize and find who we’re meant to be and what we’re meant to do. If someone feels like they don’t belong, simply telling them they do doesn’t mean the feeling goes away, and it certainly won’t erase any insecurity they have. But what exactly is impostor syndrome, and what can we do to support those who experience it?
a brief definition
Impostor syndrome is defined usually as the feeling of incompetence and self-doubt a person may feel constantly. Usually, a person who experiences this feels like an “impostor” as they attribute any personal successes to luck rather than accomplishment. This is most often seen in careers, as people doubt their hard work over things such as a job offering or promotion and feel that they are bound to lose at some point to someone more qualified and deserving.
a deeper understanding
The workplace is certainly not the only place you can experience impostor syndrome. As college students in a very difficult and competitive environment, we meet people who struggle to give themselves enough credit and suffer because of it. Even as a junior in engineering, I still feel like I don’t belong whenever I go to class. Being the only girl in a 20-person lab or one of seven in an 80-person lecture is tougher than it sounds; you already stick out like a sore thumb, and now you feel inclined to leave a good impression or you believe the collective will think lesser of you (and of women altogether)!
Impostor syndrome functions as a vicious cycle. It catches you off-guard because it usually starts with something good. It may be getting into nursing school, getting a spot on the lacrosse team, or obtaining an exciting research opportunity. Everything feels exciting until you’re finally in the environment, where you may physically stand out because of your identities, or you may just “catch a vibe” from the people surrounding you and immediately feel out of place. They may be more skilled, more knowledgable, or simply intimidating. You start to feel isolated, confused, and disheartened. Initial efforts to get comfortable in an unfamiliar (and possibly unfriendly) environment begin to get tiring, and you promise yourself if you set yourself to a higher standard you’ll not only feel better about yourself, but people will feel better about you too.
But that’s not enough. Your motivation is fleeting as efforts feel futile, and now suddenly you really feel like you don’t belong. You don’t feel good enough and start fixating on the losses rather than the wins.
Sometimes, impostor syndrome doesn’t even come from a definite environment. Sometimes, you just feel inadequate and unworthy and fill your time to compensate for the “unworthiness” with productivity and attempts at overachievement.
SO…WHAT NOW?
Like a fear of rollercoasters or a post-cold cough, impostor syndrome isn’t necessarily something that can be physically “cured.” The nature of society encourages competition, envy, and disappointment, which breed status and entitlement. Therefore, you feel like you “just can’t compare.” Impostor syndrome is rooted in our needs as social beings. Based on what we’re taught and what we believe is an accomplished, deserving being, we constantly compare to what we can’t do rather than what we can. We want to be what we think and what others think is “worthy,” even if it’s unattainable or unreasonable. We do it even if we don’t know if that’s what people believe, simply because society places a high standard on every last thing.
It can’t be medically cured, but that doesn’t mean impostor syndrome can’t fade away. The best method toward alleviating it is focusing on yourself and learning to become confident in you abilities. By changing your focus from real or imaginary criticism over what others believe, you can make a guideline as to what you really want to see from yourself. Then, you can slowly learn to celebrate the wins while also learning, but not losing, from your mistakes to come back better than before.
However, everything mentioned is not an easy task to go about alone, and therefore a strong support system is necessary. These people root for you in both accomplishments and failures, who sit through your rainy days to see you thrive in the sunny days. They know exactly the work you put in to get here and won’t let you stop short because of your doubt. It may be a friend, family member, professor, or even a pet— someone you know is here to see you thrive.
If you know someone who often experiences impostor syndrome, don’t reassure or remind them of how they “compare well” to their peers, opponents, etc. Rather, remind them of the things that they did to get to where they are. There are so many things that people don’t give themselves credit for because they don’t align with the ideas of the unreachable perfection they compare themselves to. In the end, it doesn’t matter if they fit the image or status quo of the perfect student, intern, or teammate. They’ve made it this far and will continue to make huge strides regardless of how others perceive them!
If you’re fighting battles to earn and preserve what you have (personal achievements, nutrition girls, work goals, etc.), then that’s how you know you deserve it. However, this is a truth that is severely difficult for people to ingrain into their beliefs, so we shouldn’t mock or invalidate impostor syndrome or act like it can be solved in a day. Even if we can’t begin to understand the complexities that burden one’s mind over progress and pride, we should still support them.