There is a chance that this year you met the guy of your dreams. He’s cute, compassionate, funny, and if you ever need someone to escort you back to your dorm after a long night of studying, he’s there in a flash. However, there’s always a “but,” right? In this case, he lives hundreds of miles away from you. You’re a New England sweetheart and he’s a southern gentleman, or he may be catching waves in California as you pound the pavement in New York City. While the summer months seem as though they will be incredibly short and sweet, it’s hard to imagine not being able to call your boy up and suggest a trip to the Dairy Bar whenever you want. Long distance relationships, no matter the amount of time spent apart, are challenging. Having had two serious relationships, both of which have been long distance, I’ve learned the importance of knowing when the miles apart are worth it and when they’re not.
Trust each other (or it’s going to be a long summer).
Are you the type of girl that constantly checks your guy’s Facebook or Twitter pages for questionable content? Can an unknown, pretty blonde’s simple “like” on one of his pictures drive you mad? If you have trust issues with your guy now, while you both live on the same campus, just wait until you are hours apart! Trusting that your guy will be faithful while you are away from each other is crucial to the health of your relationship. Constantly worrying about your guy’s actions is not only detrimental to your mental health but also may strain relationships with friends and family from home. Be confident that he is invested in your relationship because he wouldn’t be with you if he wasn’t.
Get creative!
While technology has certainly made it easier to communicate with your long-distance love, seeing his face on Skype will only keep you content for so long. In long distance relationships, couples are physically disconnected from one another. Therefore, that sense of connection must be made up for in other ways. Sending or receiving simple reminders as to why you both are together in the first place can work wonders. Surprises, no matter the size, shape, or form, are always exciting and fun. Be spontaneous! Simply sending your guy a song that reminds you of him via Facebook will surely put a smile on his face. Once, a boyfriend (he was going to school in Chicago) sent me a Chicago Cubs pillow pet. He couldn’t bring me to the windy city but he was trying his hardest to bring a little city to me.
Have fun with friends.
It is all too easy to be swept up by long distance communication with your guy. During your time apart, you both will be living separate lives. You may not know his friends and he doesn’t know yours. You don’t understand how he can possibly be out making fast-food runs at 3:30 AM with his buddies and my greatest advice is that you don’t try to. It is best not to over-analyze how he is spending his time. If you do, you’ll be missing out on precious time with your girls. In order for a long distance relationship to work, both individuals must be flexible with one another. You need to have time to communicate with your guy but do not let it take away from creating memories with your friends. There is a time to talk to with him and when you do you both should make the most of it. Conversely, there is also a time to turn your phone on “silent,” rest those text-tired thumbs, and bond with your best friends over that television show you love to hate, The Bachelorette.
If long distance isn’t for you, it doesn’t mean the guy isn’t.
He is everything you want in a boyfriend and you are his sweetheart. It may seem as though the miles and hours separating you and your guy are to blame for every problem or challenge that arises. However, in this type of relationship distance must be thought of as a third party. You have to decide if you can accept it or if it’s too much to handle. If you are both happy and distance makes your hearts grow fonder of one another that’s great! Sadly, not all long distance relationships will have happy endings. Towards the end of my last relationship, I was having great difficulty coming to terms with the idea of letting someone go because of circumstance. When I was with him at home, I was so unbelievably happy. Yet, when we were apart it was different. I will never forget the day my best friend told me, “If you’re with the right person at the wrong time, he or she can’t be the right person.” For some, this expression offers an easy reason as to why long distance relationships can’t work. Nonetheless, I would challenge this saying. He may be the right person and it may certainly be the wrong time. For right now, the relationship might not bring out the best in either of you. Circumstances can and most likely will change though. Remember that your paths may cross again in the future when it is the “right” time and maybe then you can be the “right” people for one another.