1. I thought Iowa was flat?
Don’t be fooled, the Pentacrest is at the top of a mountain.
2. Should I ride the Cambus up the Pentacrest hill?
After realizing that campus is not flat on your first day, every day after that you battle between being lazy and riding the Cambus or sucking it up and walking.
3. Should I go to the gym today?
As intimidating as it looks, you feel the need to work out immediately after you decide to ride the bus up the hill.
4. Do I eat at Burge or get Panch?
You decide Pancheros because the idea of walking 5 miles to find a spot and smelling dirty dishes is not appealing.
5. What am I doing with my life?
You aren’t a true college student if you aren’t questioning everything
6. Why is someone always on top of the brain rock yelling?
No, I don’t have music playing in my headphones. Please go on about how the world is going to end.
7. Should we hit up Union or Brothers tonight?
You then decide to stay in and watch “Friends” and eat your life away.
8. Are we in Chicago or Iowa City?
The shirt says it all.
9. Why doesn’t Hillcrest open until noon on Sundays?
Us westsiders already have to suffer walking across campus to go to class, don’t make us suffer on Sundays, too.
10. What am I doing with my life?
Because you ask yourself this mulitple times each day.
11. Will my professor cancel class today?
12. Is there anywhere downtown I can park that doesn’t have a meter?
I guess I’ll just make my own parking spot.
13. Is my roommate my spouse?
Yes, yes she is.
14. How many times in a week can I order DP Dough on OrderUp before I’m considered fat?
I’ve never had a love/hate relationship until OrderUp came into my life.
15. We’ve made eye contact almost 5 times this week in lecture, what are we?
Please make the first move.