Whenever you talk to someone about the concept of “friends with benefits,” the thing that they say is the big problem is that someone will always catch feelings for the other and the whole thing gets awkward. Just look at that movie with Ashton Kutcher that just came out, Just Friends. I didn’t see it, but because the two stars were very good looking people and were in a romantic comedy together, I’m assuming the end had something to do with him and Natalie Portman realizing they’re perfect for each other.
If I’m wrong about that, someone tell me.
Either way, that kind of situation is totally unlikely, but let me step back a second.
A friends with benefits relationship is pretty much defined by the name, it’s when two people try to have a fun and physical relationship while not being emotionally attached. Most guys are pretty much entirely open to this, either for the more obvious and common reason of getting some physical pleasure with a girl, or for the less likely reason that he likes the girl ahead of time and hopes she catches feelings for her.
By less likely I mean almost impossible, and if it was happening good luck getting the guy to admit it.
The main reason that a guy would not want to be a part of one of these is that he would be afraid of the girl getting emotionally attached to him. If the girl is a friend of his and they want to start getting busy but don’t like each other like that, having a physical relationship might work out. Then again, a guy might not want to risk having the girl fall for him.
If he really likes the girl that much and a relationship like this is proposed, he might just ask her out.
Another reason could simply be that he’s the kind of guy that actually wants to date a girl instead of just running around with her doing whatever. Or maybe the guy just doesn’t like a girl in a physical way and doesn’t want to be a part of it.
One problem that could happen is that a guy might think being involved in something like this might stop them or slow down their getting a real girlfriend, especially if the girl he likes finds out that he is a part of something like this. It’s not quite true, but it does cross people’s minds sometimes.
I would suggest for a girl who’s rejected from this type of relationship to just forget about it. If you really only want something physical it is incredibly easy to find a guy who is more than willing to be a part of it. It’s probably not even that hard to get someone who actually meets your standards to be a part of it.
Personally I would rather date a girl then just fool around with a friend. I’ve been a part of a relationship where I have been a friend with “benefits” and it just didn’t seem real to me. It was like we never did anything that we did when we were just friends anymore and when we tried to it was awkward and seemed forced. The frienship that started it all didn’t seem like it had ever existed for real anymore, and that made a friendship weird for a while, but died down eventually.
Go into one of these relationships warily and make sure you have the terms of it defined ahead of time. If one of you two expects for it to be a real relationship but the other one thinks it’s all about the big nasty, then bad things are bad to happen.