Like many other girls, my high school prom dress shopping experience was a blur of shiny fabric, shocking price tags, cheap Forever 21 accessories and a whole lot of mall Starbucks Frappucinos. But like the hormone that makes women forget the pain of childbirth enough to get pregnant again, finding the perfect Greek-goddess-meets-Christina-Aguilera dress junior year made me forget the anxiety and exhaustion of prom dress shopping enough to be excited to shop for a dress senior year. Then, the perfect Marilyn-Monroe-meets-Cinderella dress fooled me into going prom dress shopping again this year, as a college freshman.
Really, I wasn’t shopping for a prom dress. I was shopping for a dress to attend a fraternity formal. But not being infected by the prom bug in a women’s dress department on a Saturday in late March is next to impossible. So again I was caught up in the swirling, itchy fabric of prama (prom drama), this time as an outsider who can report back to the real world what exactly one sees shopping for a prom dress.
1. Sequins, rhinestones, glitter and tulle
The first thing I learned was that the perfect prom dress does not equal the perfect formal dress. The criteria for a prom dress are much different than my criteria for a formal dress. Prom dresses are meant to stand out, look good in pictures and make other girls jealous. The apparent motto for finding a prom dress, according to most department stores, is “the shinier, the better.” I remembered the sparkle of everyone’s dress in high school; the dresses were beautiful in the context of a high school prom, but I knew I couldn’t roll up to a fraternity formal looking like a bedazzled pageant queen. My criteria for a formal dress was a freshman-15 minimizing silhouette, a dark fabric so that if anyone spilled their drink on me it wouldn’t show, and something in a reasonable price range, which brings me to my next point.
2. Ridiculous price tags
The best part about my college “prom” shopping experience was being home to do it because I could con my dad into funding my excursion. I was determined to squeeze a reasonably priced dress, shoes, some statement earrings, and maybe even new mascara out of the budget he gave me. Boy, did I overestimate how far that money would take me.
The price of a prom dress is absolutely terrifying as a poor college freshman. It took some serious digging to find a dress that wouldn’t eat up my whole budget. I was amazed at how horrible of an investment I made my senior year, spending that much money on a dress I’ll probably never wear again.
3. Overbearing mothers
While I was shopping, I had not one, but two mothers barge into my changing room without knocking. Mothers barreled through aisles and yanked hangers off of racks like they were stocking up on rations for the apocalypse (for which their daughters would be fabulously attired). I frequently heard bickering between mothers and daughters about finding the right size, the amount of skin showing and prices, but more often heard mothers pushing their daughters to try on more and more dresses.
Though the daughters and I were getting annoyed with the prom-moms, it’s actually cute how much they cared. I’m sure the moms were remembering their own prom experiences while marching through the aisles and barking at salespeople and only wanted to ensure their daughters had an amazing time at their own proms.
4. Awestruck little girls
Occasionally, I would see a younger girl tagging along with her older sister, or just a young girl who had wandered into the dress section on her own. Her eyes would light up looking at all of the older girls among the rainbow of long gowns, and she’d instinctively reach out to touch some of the dresses. The girls were in awe of the possibility of wearing one of the dresses in a few years when they attended their own proms.
5. Aggressive Salespeople
In one store, later in my dress shopping journey, three saleswomen tried to usher me into a changing room as I wandered the store. One actually took my choices from me without waiting for my answer. Exhausted from walking around the mall all day, and stressed that I hadn’t found a dress after visiting five stores, I snapped at her and took my dresses back. Five minutes later, I sheepishly asked her for a changing room, but her customer-service smile never faltered.
Salespeople, I think, do not have the same altruism as prom-moms in the dress shopping experience, but if you take into account those ridiculous price tags, it makes sense that salespeople are particularly aggressive during prom season.
6. Anxious, body-conscious girls
I heard girls lamenting stomach rolls, thunder thighs, fat arms and pudgy bellies. I heard the defeat in girls’ voices when they asked for a size up. I heard exasperated sighs over the sound of a zipper struggling to zip. I was feeling similarly insecure after eating A&W for lunch and then looking in the mirror at my bloated stomach.
In the world of women’s clothing, size numbers fluctuate wildly among designers and mean next to nothing, yet girls continue to judge themselves based on these numbers. This fact doesn’t even begin to cover all of the problems in society that contribute to the overwhelming body-negativity of women, but finding the right dress size is a large part of dress shopping. Being constantly bombarded with numbers that tell you your body isn’t good enough turns the process of finding a beautiful dress for one of the highlights of high school very negative.
Eventually I found the dress: an LBD with the perfect ratio of classy to what my mother calls “risqué” for under thirty dollars. This time, I don’t think that I am likely to forget the stress of the shopping experience. Looking like a princess, amazing my date with my dress, dancing the whole night and ending prom and high school with all of my best friends around me made the whole prom dress shopping experience worth the stress the first two times, but without the promise of prom on the horizon now, I just feel worried for the girls who do go through the prom dress shopping process. I hope one day, prom dress shopping can come without all of the anxiety of prom dress shopping today.
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