So you’ve found the perfect guy. He is cute, funny, understanding, and willing to watch Real Housewives reunions without passing judgment. The only problem? He goes to a different school than you.
Long distance relationships can be extremely difficult, especially when you are constantly hearing negative stories about long distance love that crashed and burned. You know the situation: you’re talking to your aunt about your wonderful boyfriend and then suddenly your cousin interrupts to tell you that her long distance relationship with her high school sweetheart completely ruined her college experience. Or you’re out at a bar and a friend of a friend informs you how easy it would be for your boyfriend to cheat on you.
It is important to remember that for every negative story, there is a positive one about two people who survived the distance and stayed in love. Over the past two and a half years in my own long distance relationship, I’ve figured out ways to compensate for the time spent apart. Here are a few tips on how to make your long distance relationship a success story.
1. Communicate, communicate, communicate
Open communication is the most obvious way to keep a relationship healthy, but it becomes even more important when you and your boyfriend live hundreds of miles apart. Sometimes it is easy to ignore a problem because you don’t want to fight over texts (seriously, don’t do it — those fights never end well) but you don’t think it is important enough to wait until you both have the free time to Skype or talk on the phone. Hint: if it is something that will continue bothering you from the moment it happens until the moment you go to bed, it is important enough to talk about.
2. Understand that some days are going to be harder than others
Every couple has off days. It happens, especially after being together for a long period of time. Maybe you’re stressed with school and he’s annoyed with his roommate or maybe you just don’t click that day for some reason. Whatever it is, these off days are intensified with long distance. Know that there will be times where you are as giddy as when you first met and that there will be days where everything he says is wrong and all you want to do is listen to sad music and drink wine. More importantly, know how to communicate with your boyfriend when this happens so neither of you feel responsible.
3. Find ways to bridge the distance
Think of your absolute favorite things to do together when you’re in the same city, and then try to find ways to do them even when you’re apart. Are you totally hooked on American Horror Story? Pop some popcorn, call your boyfriend on Skype, and talk during commercials about how messed up the episode is. Love cooking? Send your boyfriend a recipe that you found and have him make it on the same night you do. Even just studying together over Skype can be refreshing (because statistics homework is so much more interesting when you can glance up and see a cute face).
Of course, these are just a few tips, and you know your relationship better than anyone else. If you’re like me, your boyfriend should know not to surprise you with a visit because chances are you’ll be in your pajamas surrounded by dirty clothes and dishes. What may work for some couples won’t for others. Just remember that while distance can be difficult, it can also be extremely rewarding if done right.
*Photos are stock images from sxhu.com