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Modern Love: Wishing on Mr. Wrong

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Iowa chapter.

So, you and your friends are having the usual weekly round table discussion, and (of course) dating is one of the topics. You proceed to listen to your friend’s story about this guy she met at the bar last week. She uses superlatives such as “gorgeous,” “tall,” and “absolutely beautiful,” followed by the common phrase in the college life dictionary “douchebag.” With this type of description, you wonder why your friend is going to meet up with him next week, and the light bulb goes off in your head. “Oh, I forgot. He was cute.” W-R-O-N-G. This practice is all too common for girls; dating a guy for these superficial reasons can turn out bad. Here are examples of guys who should be categorized as Mr. Wrong.

1) Mr. Useless Excuses

Here is a little scenario; you’ve been talking to this guy for a few weeks now and you bump into him at a party. You guys talk and hang out throughout the night; when everyone is leaving the party he invites you to his place. You do not want to be too far out of the way, so you say you are going home. He says “you live too far and I am not walking you home.” That is your sign to leave him right then. 

Why? If a guy really wants to spend time with you or see you, he will. He will do whatever it takes to have the opportunity to be around you. The scenario is just an example of the endless list of excuses some guys create. Guys can be lazy, so make him put in the work. In the words of Beyoncé, girls run the world. Stress the standards you have for a guy, and you will find that if he is worth your time, he will rise to the occasion.

2) Mr. Critical
If a guy can list off all the things that are “wrong” with you and is always criticizing, you might want to give him a second thought. Now, I can hear the harmonious sounds of the phrase “duh” from you girls, but this is not always so obvious. Remember the phrase you heard in your head “but he is cute.” This is the reason why some people might excuse Mr. Critical.

This kind of guy is more interested in appearance than he is dating you. You should date someone who has a positive impact on you, not filling your life with negativity. You can find someone else who likes you for you. According to him, all of the things this guy criticizes you about can be everything someone else ever wanted. The guy that criticized you can be the best thing you never had.

3) Mr. No Response

Now we always seem to have high hopes for this guy. He is nice, great, cute and everything else on our checklist, but he seems to not be very responsive or does not frequently communicate. It can be difficult to hold a conversation with him or the communication between you and him is unbalanced. This guy is not automatically qualified as Mr. Wrong; you have to analyze the situation before giving him this title. There can be several reasons for a widening communication gap.

Because He Can

If you are always the one initiating contact, he might feel that he does not have to put in that extra effort. Once, someone told me to treat the guy you like as if he is the one you don’t like. This means you have to show him he needs to put some effort into dating you; he could feel that you are always available if you are contacting him or he can call you whenever (including drunk calls at 2am). It’s a thrill to talk to him, but do not get so excited that you give him a pass when it comes to your expectations.

He is Actually Busy

It also could be just because he is genuinely busy. If he is motivated, hardworking, and dedicated to his interests, he is a great candidate for dating. But, if it distracts him from his ability to communicate with you, this might not be the right time to date him. If he cannot find time for you now this can become problematic in the future. You should consider keeping your relationship casual. This way you still can maintain a relationship, but you are not as worried about the communication between you.

Remember, your standards and expectations are more important than how cute he is. Do not feel bad if a guy is distancing himself because of your standards. They are your standards, and if you let this be known early through your actions, it can save you a step later on. Even Kayne West advises girls to runaway from the Mr. Wrongs of the world. If he walks away from you because of this, you are not losing anything but an opportunity to waste your time.

Make sure you check out the music links in the article.
 

Full time English/Studio Arts major, Full-time visionary. Native Chicagoan and a true city girl. In love with love and a frequent contributing writer for the HC-UIowa Modern Love column(however not frequent enough). Current endeavor?  Proud Editor-in-Chief of Her Campus UIowa, I am progressively expanding the chapter's reach through creative, fun, and informative content with a unique publication voice. I also have published content for diffrent on-line and print media. I love everything HC, but when I am not writing, editing, or publishing I am trying out the latest health trends in fitness and food, hanging out with friends, or fueling a bad habit of on-line shopping. Future endeavor? Editor-in Chief of a magazine something like Glamour, Cosmo, or Self. Want to keep up with me? Follow me on Twitter @EllandreaM
Emily is a junior at the University of Iowa and is studying Journalism and Pre-Law with a minor in Health Communication. She has been a part of the Her Campus University of Iowa team since it was founded in 2010 and is a member of Ed on Campus. She has grown to love magazine writing and editing and if she somehow can't land her dream job (to be Carrie Bradshaw), she wouldn't mind settling for a job in the magazine industry. If nothing else, she hopes to attend law school somewhere in the Bay Area out West, her favorite place to be. Since the age of 15, Emily spent her summers in California, doing internships and falling in love with San Francisco. Some of her other interests include her 4-month-old longhaired wiener dog Henry, blogging, celebrity gossip, sushi, Private Practice, fro-yo, being a journalism nerd, and anything involving good conversation with good people. Although she's not exactly sure of her plans for the future, she knows journalism will somehow be the driving force in her career.