I am involved in a sorority on campus, and this is something that I am passionate about. I love talking about the amazing things that I see happening in the Greek community, and most of my best friends are in my chapter as well. I’ve always gotten strange looks or comments from my friends who are not in sororities. But lately it seems that they, and many others not involved in Greek life, have kicked it up a notch, and I have heard a lot of hate on sororities. This is hurtful to me because I love my sorority, and I want everyone else to love it just as much as I do. But it is also somewhat infuriating. Many of my friends who have expressed their dislike for sororities are my strongest feminist friends, and the overall message that they are arguing for is that sororities are not up to their standards or that the women in these organizations are not either.
Now, before I dive into all of the reasons why this is particulary frustrating, I must first say that I myself identify as a strong feminist. I am liberally inclined in general, but as a woman, I would love nothing more than to have equal rights. I would love to not only be allowed but to be encouraged by society to seek out any career or opportunity I desire. So, when I say that my disappointment lies mostly in my feminist friends, I am not saying that I think their feminist notions go against the ideals of any sorority woman, but rather that I am an avid feminist as well and am more upset that they cannot see what I see. It baffles me to no end that as a feminist, a proponent of women’s rights, one could look at an organization completely comprised of women, designed to empower and increase opportunities and support for women, and spew hatred and judgement towards it. Even more frustrating is the inability to actually change most people’s minds about sororities. I do not know how many times I have expressed to my friends that, at the very least in my sorority, we are a group of genuine women that encourage each other in every endeavor; we are feminists and believe in the power of a driven woman. Time and time again, I have tried to explain that a sorority is not a group of ditzy women, but rather comprised of academically driven women who are motivated to get involved on campus and in philanthropy. However, most people that I tell this to choose to shrug and say something like “that’s not really how I see it,” although they have absolutely no insight into what a sorority is like. So, I have comprised a list of my least favorite (yet probably most common) phrases that I hear about sororities. I thought that I would take another swing at changing your mind if you, too, think that sororities are beneath your feminist standards.
1. Sororities are all about partying and boys.
Almost any student that you walk up to at any University goes out and attends parties. Now yes, there are some that don’t, and the same thing is true of sororities. I know women in my sorority who choose not to drink or party, and I know people outside my sorority who choose the same. You don’t need a sorority in order to have access to partying on a college campus since college students across the board are often involved in partying and drinking. We join sororities because we want a collegiate experience beyond the social scene. Disappointingly enough, I’ve also heard several women say that girls in sororities are just after guys, and they exploit themselves by dressing slutty and going to these parties for a hook up. I thought feminists were pretty much on the same page with the whole slut shaming thing, so it is fascinating to me how criticism after criticism is laid out to disapprove of sorority women, and the slut factor seems to be the cherry on top. Women can do whatever they want with their bodies, and they can wear whatever they want. If we as fellow women don’t start encouraging this mentality, then men won’t see why they need to, either.
2. Most sorority girls are stupid / not actually here for the education.
Sororities are some of the only student organizations that have a minimum GPA requirement. By joining a sorority, you are actually showing your commitment to your academics by striving to achieve this goal. I know from serving on my sorority’s standards board that anyone who is struggling with academics has a leg up by being in a sorority. Every chapter has an executive member in charge of academics and intellectual development that is always available to assist anyone in need of help. In addition, being in a group with over 150 other students almost guarantees that someone is in the same major as you. It is incredibly beneficial to have connections with older students in your same field of study.
3. Sorority women are materialistic and just like to buy matching outfits.
I’ll be honest, I love doing photoshoots with my sorority. Maybe this makes me materialistic, but I think it is fun to match with my sisters. However, we also take these photos as a way of documenting the legacy of our members. We put work into our sororities. We are proud of them, and we want other women to be inspired to join an organization that will be just as influential to them. We care about looking professional and want to show our potential new members that we invest time and work into our sorority. (Also, heck yeah I like clothes and shopping; most women do. Even feminists like fashion).
4. Sorority women aren’t orginal and don’t have personalities.
The concept of recruitment is strange to most, myself included. But I think a lot of people mistake the search for a group of women that are similar to them for a group of people that they would like to mold their personality into. I walked into houses and definitely admired the traits and morals of some of them. But when I walked into my chapter I had conversations with women that I was already similar to. The women were similar to my friends, and it felt like I already knew them. I believe that in order to see real personal growth and development, you have to be surrounded by people you feel comfortable and close to. At the start of my sorority experience, I already felt at ease being myself with my sisters because they were similar to me. Because of this, I was able to grow and my sisters supported me every step of the way. They had an understanding of what I valued and the type of person I held myself accountable to be, so they pushed me to be this type of person as well.
5. The system as a whole is superficial, and sorority women are, too.
Most of the women I have met in Greek life are down-to-earth, genuine individuals who joined sororities to better themselves as an individual. To me and so many other women, being in a sorority is not about whether you are in a top tier sorority but about the connections you make with your sisters. The University of Iowa has taken this to the next level by initiating “values-based recruiting.” Every woman participating in recruitment does a personal assessment to narrow down what values she holds closest to her heart. They teach them that picking a sorority is not based on how pretty the house is or whether you liked their outfits or if the girl you talked to had nice hair. It is about finding a group of women that value the same things you do and will support you in those values.
6. Sorority women tear each other down instead of building each other up.
Unfortunately, this stereotype is not always proven false, and unfortunately this issue is prevalent in places other than Greek life. In our society, women are too often put up against each other and we get competitive. Sometimes it happens. But for the most part, sorority women know the value that their organizations have in their life and recognize that in another woman. We support other sororities and appreciate all that they do on campus and for their philanthropy, and we support all of the women in our own chapters. My sisters are constantly encouraging me to seek out opportunities even if I think they are way beyond my reach. We do an activity called “Fill My Bucket” in which one sister that has been going above and beyond receives written notes with all the things that we love and admire about her in a bucket. I have seen firsthand the response that these women have when someone tells them that they are enough that and they are worthy of achieving all the things they strive for, and maybe surprisingly, it came from her sorority.
7. You pay for your friends, and they aren’t genuine.
We pay for plenty of benefits that come with being in a sorority. Networking, philanthropy, leadership experience, a support team, various activities and involvement on campus, even food and apparel. Making life-long friends, having a shoulder to cry on, women that know you inside and out, we’ll gladly take those too.
8. Women who are in sororities don’t care about real issues and are just extending high school.
This brings me to what is possibly my favorite thing to talk about when it comes to my sorority. First of all, many people don’t realize that having a leadership role or executive position in your chapter is something that you can put on a resume and has great value when it comes to finding a job. Sororities not only connect you to hundreds of thousands of women across the country that are making leaps and bounds in the workforce, but holding a position in your sorority makes you a very experienced and desirable candidate for jobs. Maybe most importantly, though, we are putting ourselves out there in the real world through philanthropy. When I tell people that we participate in philanthropy, a lot of them assume that this is just on the side of all the partying and braiding hair that goes on in our house. However, when I start to talk about the work that we do for our philanthropy, they are immediately taken aback by how passionate I am about it. The thing is, most of the women in sororities are passionate about their philanthropy. For some, it’s why they join and for others it’s why they go through recruitment in the first place. Sororities are able to raise shocking amounts of money for these organizations; we give real contributions to causes that matter to us. The impact we are able to make in the world with philanthropy is real, and so is our dedication to it.
All in all, ask any sorority woman, and she will tell you that the organization that she calls home has influenced her life and encouraged her to grow in ways she never dreamed of. It is hundreds of women creating opportunities for one another and supporting each other through thick and thin. And if that’s not feminism, I don’t know what is.