10. Dressing for the library is not the same as dressing for real life.
There is no ideal outfit to wear, because it is 5 million degrees inside the library. Constantly. 10 million degrees if you just hauled all your textbooks from the last row of the CCA lot and are wearing a jacket. (And you’re obviously wearing a jacket, because…Orono.)
9. You have never ever eaten food in the Oakes Room.
You only decided to sit in a third floor cubby because you know that it lessens the chances of a librarian telling you to put your Union sushi away.
8. Even though you never eat food in the Oakes Room, you wish that the horse-chewer sitting next to you would.
Loud chewing is disrespectful and disgusting in all scenarios, and there’s no way I’m going to pump out this 15 page research paper if you don’t stop basically unhinging your jaw every time you take a bite.
7. Your bladder works overtime in the library.
It’s probably because you’ve chugged two iced coffees and three water bottles in two hours, but you’d totally appreciate it if the guy sitting in the armchairs next to the bathroom would stop giving you dirty looks everytime you go back.
6. You’ll never admit it, but it took you a while to figure out how to get to the third floor.
For the majority of your first semester, you were pretty sure that the third floor was just a myth that upperclassmen were lying about. If it did actually exist, you were convinced that the way to get there involved something kind of like the changing staircases in Harry Potter.
5. Your homework is not as interesting as the online shopping cart the girl next to you is creating.
Okay, yeah, your paper is due at midnight, but those gladiator sandals she just added are like, wicked cute.
4. The WiFi is as slow as a treadmill minute.
Loading a webpage is going to take longer than the actual invention of the Internet took.
3. Even though there are like, a billion books, the only one you need is checked out.
All the more reason to go back home and watch Netflix.
2. You always see someone you don’t want to see.
Trying to avoid someone? Well, then you should probably avoid the library, too, because chances will have it that you’ll look up from your laptop and make super awkward eye contact.
1. You realized you have violent tendencies when someone began talking on the third floor.
Keeping your mouth shut is by far the Golden Rule of the library. Absolutely do not speak on the third floor. I don’t care if you think one quick comment to your friend isn’t going to distract anyone, because it most definitely is!! We live in the wonderful age of technology, so if you have something to say, be a normal millennial and do it through your phone!