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Family Matters: Why Italians Have it Right

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Maine chapter.


When I came to Italy, I fell in love with the architectural charm of the small medieval town I chose. Cobblestone streets, small bars and cafés on every corner, and the “pausa pranza” – the time of day where literally everything shuts down for three to four hours. After the honeymoon phase between Italy and I passed, our relationship became strained. My black pumps were eaten alive by those same charming Etruscan cobblestones; the cafés did not offer to go coffee (and if there’s one thing I love in this world, it’s a venti Caramel Macchiato). That wonderful pausa pranza eventually made me realize that from one to four in the afternoon, I literally could not do anything except eat. Like all relationships inevitably do, Italy and I had hit our first obstacle; yet I was not ready to let go of the redeeming qualities of Italy.  Early nostalgia has begun to hit me as I begin the long-distance stint of my love affair with Italy: meal time!

Many travelers note the importance of mealtime in Italy, the three hour pause dedicated to lunch is a testament in itself to the passion Italians have for food. The contrast between the Italian concept of mealtime and the American concept can be seen from the Thanksgiving meal that was catered for Americans by the USAC group I traveled through. When the Americans went to the meal, there were no chairs anywhere! Shocked that Thanksgiving would apparently be eaten on the go, some Americans asked an Italian student why they forgot chairs. The Italian replied, “We were certain that Americans ate while standing – you are always rushing!”



While most of us Collegiettes have not yet returned to our caveman roots and still eat at tables, I understand where this is coming from: the entire pace of life in Italy is about five hundred times slower. My professors show up on average about twenty minutes late, the waiters refuse to bring a check until you ask for it, and if you walk at more than a mile an hour people get extremely frustrated with you. The general lack of urgency can turn me from Positive Polly to Bitter Betty in about five minutes on a Monday morning, but the overarching theme of mealtime is enough to melt the Grinch’s heart: family. The meal times last longer so as to provide more family time, and every meal is eaten with the entire extended family (grandparents included). Most grown men live with their families until marriage! While no one wants to actually live out Failure to Launch, even I can appreciate a good Mama’s boy (and Mama’s home cooking!).

While at first I was offended that some of our Italian friends thought we legitimately ate while walking, it did provide food for thought (pun entirely intended). When was the last time you sat and ate with your family just because?  Most of us only do so on holidays, and even then it is a competition to see who can eat Aunt Jan’s fruit cake without actually dry heaving.



Here’s my challenge to you lovely ladies of UMaine: involve your family in your life more often. Bring your boyfriend home. Stay that extra hour on Christmas Eve at Grandma’s house, even if it means that you have to endure yet another can-can by Aunt Carol after a bit too much egg nog. The Italians may have some debatable fashion choices, and nightly dinners including everyone with the same last name might be a bit much, but they have this much right: family matters. The family you have now may be a little bit crazy, have a touch too much Jerry Springer or maybe (lucky you!) they’re a little bit boring, but be grateful for what you have: each other.

From Italy to Maine this December, have a fantastic Christmas! Celebrate safely, and enjoy your time with your family! 

photo credit: google images