In light of Valentine’s Day having just passed, let’s discuss one of the hardest things about studying abroad: long-distance relationships. On a social level, this is challenging because each exchange student has a different situation and expectation: for some, being single was a necessity; for others, studying abroad was an excuse to get out of a relationship; some unexpectedly broke up with their significant other’s within the first week; and in some cases like mine, a few people are in long-distance relationships. I’m sure everyone is aware of the personal challenges that come with this, especially if physical touch is their love language. Even with an ocean between each other and a seven-hour time difference, there are certain things that make these challenges less severe.
One of the best things I’ve found that makes long-distance somewhat bearable is scheduling time to be with each other. While this seems obvious, it is easier said than done with the given time difference. Taking the time to make a consistent schedule every week for calls, FaceTime, and virtual “dates” makes the biggest difference in communication. FaceTime, in particular, is so helpful in feeling comforted: you get to hear their voice, see them, and see familiar surroundings. With that same idea in mind, scheduling the next time you will see each other in person also relieves the stress and worrying that comes with new and unfamiliar situations. It is important when studying abroad to discuss expectations and boundaries of the relationship beforehand so there are no surprises or disappointment. Personally, in many cases, there isn’t cell service or public internet connection, so unless I’m actually on campus, I won’t be able to contact anyone. Communication is one of the hardest parts of being in a long-distance relationship while abroad, but if there is consistency with plans of doing so, it makes the whole experience so much easier.
Every relationship is different, so each of these factors will obviously be dependent on the boundaries that are set. Currently, after nearly a month of being in Bulgaria, my relationship with my boyfriend has strengthened and we’re able to focus on aspects that we haven’t necessarily worried about before I’d left. Smaller acts of affection like messages, gifts, or surprises are all ways to keep the relationship spontaneous and connected. It is also important to know that talking every day might not be realistic, and if that is a necessity, minimizing it to 5 minutes some days may be the best solution.
If you’re interested in studying abroad and this is one of the main worries, consistent communication is absolutely necessary to maintain a healthy relationship. The reality is that studying abroad while in a long-distance relationship is challenging, but it also has the potential to strengthen the relationship, making all the struggle worthwhile.