We’d like to think that every Thursday is different- but that’s just not the case. Even when you try to convince yourself to be adventurous and try out a new restaurant or a new bar, you still end up stumbling your way over to the Bear Brew. Is it the sweaty dance floor? The greasy pizza? The strong drinks? Whatever it may be, every Thursday night seems to follow a particular routine…
Thursday.
10 a.m.
Waking up from Dollar Wells and driving to class. Asking yourself, “Is this real life?” then telling yourself, “Yeah, definitely not going out tonight.”
12 p.m.
Receiving texts from your friends- “Hey you going out tonight??” “Brew tonight?” “What are you wearing tonight?” Guys, I’m not going out!
3 p.m.
The Dollar Wells hangover has finally ceased and you are starting to regain some confidence that you can go out tonight.
5 p.m.
“Are you still not going out??” Ok. So you changed your mind. But you literally have nothing to wear.
7 p.m
People are coming over to pregame soon and you still don’t have an outfit. Time to raid your roommate’s closet!
9 p.m.
Your friends finally arrive to start the pregame. Your hair’s still wet, you are still in a towel- you settle with a romper.
10:45 p.m.
It’s finally time to find a ride to the Brew (or walk over if you’re lucky). Let the Snapchat Story begin! Probs going to use the dog filter the whole way there.
11:15 p.m.
You make it to the Brew at the best time. The bouncer stares deep into your soul, and even though you’re 21, you get nervous as hell.
11:30 p.m.
After telling yourself you’re only sticking with beer, you are already two Grateful Dead’s in and you are hugging everyone. I just love you guys so much!
11:45 p.m.
Time to make the hike upstairs to the deck! And, of course, it’s time for another drink. The heat from the dance floor seeps onto the deck area- it’s time.
12 a.m.
You are finally buzzing enough to get on the dance floor and break out your dance moves. You remind yourself to avoid the dark corners.
12:15 a.m.
Is the DJ really playing Gasolina by Daddy Yankee? Alright, time to go back to the bar. You are trying to avoid that guy that’s been following you all over the dancefloor. You know, the guy in the button-up (which is completely unbuttoned) and looks like he just took a dip in the pool.
12:30 a.m.
You’ve been holding it in all night, now you really have to pee. The girls’ bathroom has a line out the door, but you need to go NOW. The guys’ bathroom is basically empty. You convince yourself you probably won’t see anyone you know, so you slip on in.
12:35 a.m.
After taking five minutes trying to go pee with a romper on, you walk out of the stall and there’s your Tinder hookup! (Insert upside down smiley face emoji here.)
12:45 a.m.
It’s close to closing time and you’re finishing up on the dancefloor. This time of night is when things start to get blurry. Good thing you’re Snapchatting every 10 minutes!
1 a.m.
The lights turn on and everyone looks like they just ran a marathon. You run away knowing that your makeup is nonexistent at this point.
1:05 a.m.
You grab a slice of pizza on your way out. You hug the bouncer that terrifies you every time you arrive at the Brew. You snap a couple Snaps, and you are on your way home.
1:30 a.m.
You are in bed, with your romper on and Domino’s is on the way. You’re glad you decided to go out!
Friday
10 a.m.
You’re never drinking ever again.