My boyfriend and I have been together for over four years. We have spent almost our whole relationship living four hours apart while we have been in college. In order to make it work we have driving thousands and thousands of miles, sent probably a million text messages, and spent hundreds of hours on the phone and Google Hangouts.
Long distance is incredibly difficult, and definitely not for everyone and every relationship. But even after all of the fights over miscommunications and cancelled weekend visits on top of typical relationship squabbles, I would do it all over again, and here is why:
I still get that butterfly feeling
I can’t say that all of the magic is completely there after four years, but since we don’t get to see each other every day the excitement makes it feel like we just started dating again. It makes it a little easier for us when it comes to keeping that spark.
There is always something new for us to talk about
Sure we cover the basics like what we had for lunch that day but when we finally get to talk on the phone every few days we actually have stories to tell one another and experiences to share, which allows us to continue learning about each other and growing.
We have our own friends
Yes I know his friends and he knows mine, but at the end of the day I have my own individual friendships that he has little to no part in, which is nice. It allows me to have other people who are close to me to talk to, and not have to rely on my boyfriend to be my only friend.
The distance keeps us grateful
We don’t get to take our time together for granted because it’s limited. We constantly have to be appreciative for the random weekend here and there. It also keeps things more exciting. We feel like we have to do more with the small amount of time we have instead of just sitting on the couch lost in our phones.
I learned how to communicate
He isn’t there to see when I’m annoyed or sad or happy. I had to learn how to tell him those things, which is way harder than it sounds. It created a new level or vulnerability for me and I’m sure for him too. We had to learn how to talk about our disagreements before they turned into full-blown fights because frankly we don’t really have time to fight (we operate on pretty opposite schedules).
I became my own person
I got the chance to have my best friend/ boyfriend there with me while I have figured out who I am and what I want for myself. I didn’t get to rely on him to distract me from life all of the time. I have learned how to be comfortable and confidant on my own and bonus: without worrying what boys want from me.
It won’t last forever
For us, the distance is temporary and eventually we are planning on actually living in the same city, making all of this worth it.