Break-Ups: they happen to the best of us, but it’s always worse when it happens to you. Depending on the length of the relationship, it’s going to take a certain amount of time to get you through the heart-wrenching, soul-numbing pain to the point where your ex is “What’s-His-Name-Again?” to you and your friends. One thing to help speed up that process is the right sound track to go with each stage. Everyone knows the right background music makes everything that much better, and while it may not ease the pain completely, the right song can hold your hand through the struggle and celebrate with you in your happily-ever-after.
DENIAL
The first stage of the common breakup is denial. In the beginning, it never quite seems real, like it can’t really be happening to you; things were so good yesterday, how could it really be so over today? You pick up your phone to send him a quick text, only to remember that, wait, you can’t anymore. Denial is the very peak of the roller coaster, that little lull where everything is calm before you reach the tipping point and spiral down into the crazy ups and downs of emotions to come.
Right now, you’re going to want to find songs that echo your mood and maybe reinforce the situation a little bit—it hurts to know that you two are no longer together, but the sooner you can acknowledge that, the sooner you can get through the other stages. The ideal song would be upbeat and blasé about love; don’t force yourself to listen to something sad if sadness hasn’t hit you yet. Right now, you’re thinking: “It’s no big deal, I’m fine,” and let your playlist reflect that. We recommend:
- “Hurt Me Tomorrow” – K’naan
- “Caroline” – OutKast
- “Dance Floor Anthem” – Good Charlotte
ANGER
This is when things set in, and now you’re pissed. After everything you’ve done, everything you’ve been through, he’s just going to throw it all away? Maybe you want to break things and scream explicit language really loud. Do so if that helps. Surround yourself with people who will nod their heads and agree with you as you rant about your ex, bonus points if they can come up with some colorful insults of their own.
Everyone knows that nothing is better for your anger than a really angry playlist. The best ones are loud, very loud, and have lyrics that tell you how you were too good for him anyway. Examples include:
- “F*ck You” – Lily Allen
- “Sail” – AWOLNATION
- “Seventh Nation Army Remix” – Glitch Mob
- “Breaking Dishes” – Rihanna
BARGAINING
This is that tricky phase when you begin striking up bargains with yourself in the hopes of getting him back. Maybe you’ll tell yourself, “Oh, if I only text him once more, maybe this time he’ll respond,” or “If I lost five pounds, I bet he’d want me again.” You run into him “coincidentally” and plot out elaborate plans to win him back. These thoughts make you feel really helpless, because in the end, these bargains have no effect whatsoever on your relationship.
The song you want here is going to reflect this mood of desperation and grasping at relationship straws, or a determination to win him over. These bargains will in no way help with your relationship, but at the time, you will neither notice nor care. Embrace it; fill your playlist with songs of longing to change because regardless of how unnecessary it is (you’re perfect the way you are!), it will feel very necessary in the moment. Examples include:
- “Marvin’s Room” – Drake
- “Come Over” – Kenny Chesney
- “I Can Change” – LCD Sound System
- “Want U Back” – Cher Lloyd
DEPRESSION
The next stage of the common break-up is depression. You are inexplicably sad and feel as though your heart has been shattered into a fine powder. Symptoms include an unexplained desire to stay in your pajamas all day, as well as cry into a personal pint of Ben & Jerry’s while watching tearjerker movies in the dark. This is fine. This is normal. For a certain period of time, this is healthy, emotionally speaking.
Right now you want the kind of music to accompany a crying jag, the kind of song that asks, “Why me?” – preferably in the ballad format. The right song will sound as if it was written for you personally, about your individual breakup. This playlist should make you feel completely justified in not leaving the couch all day while dipping your microwave popcorn in Nutella. Examples include:
- “The Scientist” – Coldplay
- “Back to Black” – Amy Winehouse
- “Creep” – Radiohead
- “Lua”– Bright Eyes
ACCEPTANCE
Naturally, of course, the final stage is acceptance, the greatest stage of all. You’ve come to accept the fact that the relationship is over, and now is your chance to embrace it. You recognized the good times that you two shared, but recognize also that now you have a whole new world of possibilities ahead of you.
The song you need right now is upbeat and girl-power-esque. These are generally the most fun, the kind of songs that make you want to sing along into a hairbrush while dancing around your room. Keep it loud and positive, and name your playlist Gotta Be Single To Mingle, or something along those lines. Examples include:
- “Ways to Go” – Grouplove
- “Chelsea Dagger” – The Fratelli’s
- “Carried Away” – Passion Pit
- “Good A** Intro” – Chance the Rapper
We know break-ups suck, but with a little musical help, your broken heart will be fixed in no time!