Is it really true that “distance makes the heart grow fonder”? When it comes to relationships in college, not necessarily. Many college students end their relationships due to long distance and those who stay together sometimes struggle to maintain their connection. However, after being in a long distance relationship for two years, I’ve collected some tips and tricks to make it easier. Long distance may not be right for every relationship, but it also may just mean you need to work a little harder at it. As the years have passed in my relationship, long distance has gotten easier and easier, and I believe it’s simply because we’ve developed strategies for how to stay close while living far apart.
- Schedule virtual dates
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Having virtual dates is fundamental to maintaining your connection while doing long distance, and there are so many fun ways to do it! You can start up a routine of watching a show or reading a book and then discussing it. You can also do more discrete activities like game night, arts and crafts, or cooking a meal on the phone together.
- Share physical items
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Physical touch is one of the most unideal love languages to have while in a long distance relationship (just ask my girlfriend). However, sharing physical items like clothes, blankets, and stuffed animals can help fill that gap –- especially if you trade them regularly so they smell like you. If you have a perfume that you usually use, you can also spray that on the items for long-lasting fragrance.
- Plan when you’re going to see each other next
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One thing that can be tough in long distance relationships is dealing with the unknown. It may not always be possible for you to know exactly when you’re going to see each other next, but making a plan for who’s going to travel and when really helps calm the uncertainty. Even just having a general idea (like once a month you’ll alternate trips) can provide some more comfort for your relationship.
- Check in regularly about how you can support each other
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While check-ins are key to any relationship, they become even more important in long distance ones. Communication can go a long way in avoiding conflicts that arise. Regularly talking about how you’re both feeling in your relationship and how you can be there for each other helps to ensure that your relationship can continue thriving.Â
- Figure out a communication routine that works for you
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On a similar note, it helps to have clear expectations about how often you are talking, texting, calling, etc. You shouldn’t be so connected that you miss out on life experiences, but making time for each other is also a priority. Establish general guidelines like calling once a day, letting each other know if you have to go more than X number of hours without texting, and/or doing at least a few disconnected social activities every day.
- Resolve conflicts over calls instead of texts
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Arguments can be really difficult to navigate while long distance. Instead of being able to come together to talk and hug it out, you and your partner have to deal with your problems separately. One way to make this process easier is to have all your tough conversations over the phone. Hearing your partner’s voice and tone can humanize them and help build a bridge between you in an argument.
- Trust your relationship
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Long distance is hard, but when you both put the effort in, you can make it work. When you get discouraged, remember that this is helping you develop more appreciation for the time you do get together. Sometimes you have to accept that it won’t always be easy, but it is still a blessing to be together. Long distance doesn’t last forever, and someday you will be really grateful you got through it.
These seven steps made a world of difference in my long distance relationship and I hope they do for yours too. If you ask me, I think the old adage is true -– distance does make the heart grow fonder, just as long as you learn how to do it right!
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