As a natural born introvert who has always cherished quiet time by myself, a strange phenomenon occurred when I first arrived at college. All of a sudden, I wanted to be around people constantly, and no longer knew how to spend any time alone. However, I had no idea what brought about this change.
This had never happened to me before, and it was a lot to figure out how to deal with it. I had to teach myself how to be more extroverted in order to fulfill these new, unforeseen needs. I’m sure I’m not alone in this, so here are my tips on how to adapt to this change and grow as a person, without losing who you were before.
Fake it ’till you make it
This age-old advice has been said over and over again, but I believe there is some truth to it. My freshman year of high school, one of my good friends told me that if I ever feel unsure about myself, to just “fake it ’till you make it”. I have followed this advice ever since, and it has yet to fail me. If I ever feel uncomfortable, particularly around a new group of people, I just pretend that I’m not. I act like I am comfortable and confident, and it eventually just starts to become natural.
Everyone has drastically different experiences when it comes to making friends in college. In my case, I was lucky enough to have an amazing group of friends practically fall in my lap. They are a group of extremely outgoing and talkative people, and I have met so many new people simply from my friends approaching a stranger and talking to them.
This shocked me at first because I could never imagine just going up to a stranger and striking up a conversation, but watching them do it made me realize that there is really nothing to be scared of. I’ve always been terrified of being perceived by others, but why? Over the course of the last month, I have slowly started to realize that it is really not a big deal. I can go up to a stranger and talk to them, and they won’t think I’m weird. And even if they do, so what? It’s up to me to decide whether or not I care, and I have found that choosing not to worry about these things makes my social life a whole lot easier.
It’s Never Too Late to Make Friends
Most people tend to think that after the first few weeks of college it’s impossible to make new friends. Or at least, that’s what I was told. This worried me because even though I love my friends, I didn’t want to miss out on meeting others in the future.
Even though it hasn’t been that long, I can proudly say that I am continuing to introduce myself to new people and make new friends. Even past the first few weeks, everyone is still looking to meet new people. And when you go to a school with over 30,000 students, there are always new people to meet. The first time you meet someone is still the first time you meet them, whether it is in the first week of college or a year or two down the road.
Key Word: Balance
The most important aspect of this whole process is balance. If you don’t balance time alone and time with friends, especially if you are used to spending a lot of valuable time alone, you will get overwhelmed and likely crash.
Don’t let this happen!
Personally, my biggest social battery drainer was hanging out with my friends late at night every night of the week. However, this was simultaneously the highlight of my day every day. I’ve learned to take at least one, ideally two nights out of the week to spend by myself. Whether that is spent studying, cleaning my room, reading, or just relaxing, I have discovered that it is important to have those moments to reconnect with myself. Even if it means missing out on a nightly hang out, it’s a lot better than burning out a month into the school year.
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