Let’s face it ladies, watching football on a regular Sunday with your man is hard enough. Now add in his rowdy group of guy friends plus the intensity of the Super Bowl and it’s like a whole other playing field, literally. For those of you who actually understand this playing field, I congratulate and admire you. For the rest of you, like myself, who watch the Super Bowl to drink alcohol, eat chips, and provide commentary on the commercials come Monday morning, there’s still basic knowledge you need to know. With this simple list of dos and don’ts, you’ll be a pro Super-Bowl-watcher in no time…or least your guy friends won’t kick you out of the room. Fake it ’til you make it, right?
1. DO get there on time! Kick off waits for no one.
2. DON’T stand in front of the TV. This may seem like an obvious one, but we’re talking as little as no blockage of the TV for more than a few seconds. Not even if you bend down reaching for your purse that you placed next to the TV. It’s one of those days where the TV is better than your behind.
3. DO allow swearing. It’s an emotional day for many people, let them let it out.
4. DON’T ask if you’re prettier than the football star’s wife. We’re all beautiful, but we’re not all Gisele.
5. DO search the internet before you ask questions that could potentially be basic football knowledge.
6. DON’T ask if a Russian touchdown is different from an American touch down. It’s pronounced RUSHING. **Known from experience**
7. DO bring beer. Bring lots of beer. This isn’t just for the avid game watchers, this is also for the confused game watchers. Every time you don’t understand what’s going on, drink. Now you’ve just created the easiest drinking game ever.
8. DON’T get too excited when there are only 2 minutes left on the clock. That actually means there is about a half hour left.
9. DO know which team to root for. Cheering when the wrong team scores could land you some pretty dirty glares.
10. DON’T say, “maybe next year” if your team loses. Optimism doesn’t help at a moment like this.
With this basic how-to list you’re officially ready to watch the Super Bowl with even the most fanatical football fan. And just remember, next time your guy is yelling at you because you said you’d be ready five minutes ago, just tell him you meant football minutes.