I want to start off by saying that I have the utmost respect for the vegan community. It had been a huge part of my life since I was 14 years old and I would not change those six years for the world. Veganism, vegetarianism, and other plant-based diets have been growing more and more popular in our world as we grow more and more concerned about the impacts of climate change. It is no secret that plant-based diets offer optimal carbon neutrality.Â
I always had a double standard in my veganism. I was militant about my own veganism, yet when it came to other people I showed tremendous grace. I always said it was not right for everyone and that everyone should simply do the best that they can. It was not until I was surrounded by a community of vegans over the summer where that the same grace I had always shown others was shown to me. I am extremely grateful for that, but it also forced me to face some pretty painful realizations. First, I did not really want to be vegan anymore. Second, I was only vegan because I felt like I had to be. These may both sound startling to any vegans reading, however, I think they are both incredibly important conversations to have. I had been vegan for so long that I was afraid of what animal products would do to my body. I was also worried about what other people would think about me. Most importantly, I always had the most loving community of family and friends who supported me in my veganism and I did not want all their efforts to be wasted.Â
I also could feel that at the end of the day veganism was not entirely what my body needed anymore. There are raw vegans, there are frugivores, and all sorts of plant-based diets that do not entail any processed foods. However, in an effort to attract more people to the lifestyle vegan options had become increasingly processed, and oftentimes, those incredibly processed options were the foods available. I felt unsatisfied. I felt like I no longer had the energy to keep up with my active lifestyle of lifting and running. So, almost three months ago, about a week after I turned 20, I decided to take a step back from veganism.
What helped me through this transitional period was accepting a powerful mantra to live by: two things can be true at the same time. Veganism can be great and it can simultaneously not be great for me. I will forever be grateful for my vegan years. They taught me so much about food, sustainability, compassion, and community. In many ways, I am finding those same things with my new lifestyle. I do my best to buy local, grass-fed dairy when possible. I do it to support the local economy and because I have always valued knowing exactly where my food comes from. I have yet to venture into red meat but I would go the same route should I get there. I do not want to say all this nonchalantly. This journey initially came with tremendous guilt. The first time I cooked chicken I cried. I felt like I failed, but none of the scary things you are told will happen actually happen. No one judged me. I did not get violently ill. I can genuinely say that my body feels so much better. I have more energy, I am almost never bloated and I have found my passion for food again.
This is not to stray you away from or towards veganism, but if you are struggling in whatever lifestyle you presently maintain, know that it is okay to explore others. If you take one thing from this article, let it be this: show yourself the same grace you show others. You both need and deserve it.
Can’t get enough of HC UMass Amherst? Be sure to follow us on Instagram, listen to us on Spotify, like us on Facebook, and read our latest Tweets!