Natasha Bedingfield’s “Unwritten” was somewhat of a cultural reset. It is the carefree – albeit determined, girl’s anthem. With its empowering lyrics, listeners are reminded of their agency and ability to transform their lives as they know them. So, as you stare at the blank page before you, let these steps below motivate you to open up the dirty window, and truly let the sun illuminate you.
This is not an exhaustive list, so take it with a grain of salt. I am not trying to be holier-than-thou, as I am still a girl with her fair share of inhibitions. Yet, I’ve noticed that implementing these few habits into my life has helped me detach from reservations I may feel regarding potentially awkward things I do. Remember. Nothing. Is. That. Deep. Life is funny and it’s a waste of time to be concerned with trivial reluctance. Trust me, I know this is easier said than done. Take your time, and remember baby steps are still steps!
- Always dance like you’re staring at yourself in the mirror
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You know when you are all alone in your room and that one song that encapsulates all the groove you need plays on shuffle? When you suddenly start to feel yourself, and realize you actually may have rhythm? When you gaze into the mirror and think to yourself how great you look dancing? Translate that energy into every scenario where you find yourself busting a move. Perhaps not every song you encounter will awaken that spirit within you, but try to hold onto pieces of that in your soul. Dance like nobody’s watching. If you can’t overcome the fact that people may be watching you, dance like you know you look good. Most importantly, dance for yourself! Dance to have fun.
- Remember: it’s only embarrassing if you think it’s embarrassing
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This is arguably one of the most resounding pieces of advice I’ve encountered throughout my 21 years on this earth. Embarrassment is only as permeating as you allow it to be. This is where cognitive dissonance comes into play. Like most things in life, embarrassment is fueled by the power you give it. If you do something a little off-kilter, do not give it the capacity to mortify you. We are all humans and we all experience our fair share of hiccups. Awkward moments are inevitable; how you react is what matters. Try not to dwell on what you did (again, much easier said than done!), brush it off like you’d brush off scraping your knee as a child. If you need to, just pretend it didn’t happen! Or, convince yourself it wasn’t a big deal – because, in the grand scheme of things, it really was not a big deal and your peace of mind matters more. Which brings me to my next point…
- Learn to laugh at yourself
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Not in a self-deprecating way! But in a “LOL, I just told the waiter, ‘thanks, you too,’ when they told me to enjoy my meal” kind of way. Absolutely do NOT put yourself down – just try to reframe your mindset to reflect a gentler and more light-hearted approach to situations. Life is cruel enough, and you do not need to add to it by being mean to yourself. Instead, laugh with yourself a little – or a lot, who am I to judge! Cultivating a caring relationship with yourself is crucial, as you’re the only person you are guaranteed to be with for life. Might as well be able to joke around, right?
- When you make eye contact with a stranger, try to smile instead of immediately darting your eyes away
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Maybe you want to be the cool mysterious girl, but sometimes cool mysterious girlies are even cooler when they exhibit unexpected kindness. I’m not telling you to smile at every single person ever – sometimes we’re just not in the mood, and admittedly, it can be awkward. In society, we are programmed to beeline to our next destination and avert our eyes if we encounter a stranger or acquaintance on the way. For some reason, it is palpably uncomfortable to make eye contact when walking by someone. I agree with this sentiment. Yet, this is an inhibition we can amend. My rationale is that it’s better to be the person that smiled rather than be the person that didn’t smile back. This mantra helps alleviate any awkwardness I may feel after the encounter if the smile is unreciprocated. Plus, I always feel like a way better person when I smile instead of avoiding someone. Good for the soul and good for the ego, too, I guess!
- Wear that outfit you’re hesitant about
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You know the outfit (or article of clothing)! The one that you lowkey adore but are unsure if you can confidently rock in public. Just wear it. Wear it with power. Let your strut exude confidence, and remind yourself that you are wearing the clothes – the clothes aren’t wearing you. You are in charge and you deserve to serve looks. It’s daunting to leave our comfort zones, but staying within them can be even scarier. So, wear that matching set to the gym, or that flowy jumpsuit you know you look good in, or those funky baggy pants that make you feel cool – life is boring when you shrink yourself instead of expressing yourself.
Remember, no one else can do these steps for you – only you can.
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