Lana Del Rey’s new album, Did You Know That There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd, was released on March 24, 2023. The new song, “Let the Light In” featuring Father John Misty offers commentary on a relationship where one partner continues to feel drained, waiting for their partner to give more in the relationship. This song reflects the speaker’s anxious-attachment style.
What is an Anxious-Attachment Style?
Those with an anxious-attachment style usually have a strong desire for intimacy mixed with fear or anxiety about abandonment. There are many signs of the anxious-attachment style. They include codependency, discomfort in being alone, fear of abandonment, people-pleasing, tolerating unhealthy behaviors, and sensitivity to change.
“Let the Light In” and Anxious-Attachment
The song’s verses continue to reference the speaker and their partner being engaged in a seemingly loving relationship where they can make love to each other and feel whole together. However, as the song persists into the choruses and bridge, listeners become more aware of the reality of the relationship. The chorus sings:
“Ooh, let the light in / At your back door yelling ’cause I wanna come in / Ooh, turn your light on / Look at us, you and I, back at it again.”
Despite the speaker and partner having special moments together and finding time for each other, this reality presented in the chorus displays the speaker needing more from their partner. They continue to repeat “let the light in” and “turn your light on” in reference to their partner not allowing their relationship to persist past a certain point. There is no depth to the relationship, yet the speaker continues to beg their partner for more and offer their physical self in hopes that will encourage the partner to open up – or let light in.
The speaker continues to have this strong desire for intimacy in order to keep the relationship alive out of fear that their partner will abandon them if they are not intimate, which is a part of the anxious-attachment style.
The speaker also experiences very powerful emotions and feelings towards their partner and relationship. The bridge of the song goes:
“’Cause I like to love, to love, to love, to love you / I hate to hate, to hate, to hate, to hate you / … / ‘Cause I want, I want, I want, I want you / I need to, need to, need to need you.”
Though the speaker is not experiencing a healthy relationship of depth and substance, they continue to feel these very strong emotions such as love and hate. There are moments in the relationship where the speaker is frustrated, and feels hate. They ignore these feelings and continue to fight for a dying relationship. They are so attached to the relationship that the red flags, pain, and hurt are ignored. As in an anxious-attachment style, the speaker engages in people-pleasing behaviors and tolerates their partner’s behavior to continue the relationship because of the dependency and fear of being alone.
The speaker feels like they need their partner despite these hardships. They say they “need to need” their partner in order to keep the relationship alive. Without the speaker’s attachment, the relationship does not exist. So, the speaker continues to go back to their partner time and time again out of fear of being alone.
The speaker of Lana Del Rey’s “Let the Light In” is anxiously attached to their partner in excusing and tolerating behaviors, becoming codependent, and becoming deeply sensitive to their behaviors.
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