Growing up, I thank my mother and family for instilling the confidence they did. They say comparison is the thief of joy, and I fell victim to this starting in high school. Everyone had a thinner figure, slimmer face, prettier hair, etc. I knew I wasn’t bad-looking, but for some reason, I could not feel beautiful or happy with myself. This feeling has followed me through high school and college, and I felt as though there was nothing I could do to get rid of it.
This has weighed on my mental well-being and can make it difficult to go about my day with a smile and positive energy. I have struggled with my mental health for a long time and didn’t know where to begin in terms of taking care of myself. I rode the ups and downs and tried to battle it out of the bad days. There are times I feel unappreciated, unloved, and unsure of the state of my life and where I am heading. Over the last several months, I have done little things to improve my physical and mental health that have undoubtedly changed my perspective on life. I’ve started investing in it more so than ever before and have realized by taking these steps, my potential for a happy and fulfilled lifestyle has grown immensely.
One thing I have started doing is fixing my morning habits. I always started my day scrolling through my socials in bed or hitting snooze on my alarm. I’ve never been a morning person, but starting my day off like this obviously does not help. I now get out of bed on my first alarm and with a couple of hours to spare before my first class. I say affirmations in order to get myself in the right headspace, brush my teeth, wash my face, and do my skincare while listening to a podcast. My personal favorite right now is Leo Skepi’s “Aware and Aggravated.'” His approach is harsh but true. If you grew up with tough love you should definitely check it out! I get dressed and do my make-up and make sure I feel cute in what I’m wearing. I have the mindset that if I see my campus crush, I would want him to see me rather than try and hide myself. I also get a nice breakfast and treat myself to a coffee to start my day out. Changing my mornings to a positive aspect of my day rather than something to just get through each day!
Another aspect is my relationship with fitness. I used to be extremely athletic in high school. When COVID-19 hit, all of that came to a stop! I had never gone to the gym to work out on my own before, and I didn’t know anything about weight-lifting or nutrition. While I tried it on and off for a long time, I had never really taken the time to learn and invest in it before. What changed for me this time around was the fact I started to love and appreciate my body for what it was and what I could do, rather than feeling like I would look better when I reached a certain weight or physique. I recently started going to spin classes at least twice a week and I lift the other three. I am more conscious about what I eat and put in my body, but I don’t force myself to give up the things I enjoy either! I feel as though moderation is key. During the week I try to keep up with a lot of protein, fruits, and vegetables, but if my friends and I order a pizza on the weekend, I’m having a slice or two without hesitation.
The final adjustment I’ve made is to prioritize myself. I have always been a people pleaser and would do things I didn’t want to do in order to get approval from others. I never wanted anyone to be mad at me. This was emotionally draining and I felt like I was constantly in a position where I didn’t feel comfortable with myself. Recently I’ve been learning to say no and stand up for myself. I have worked to reduce my FOMO (fear of missing out) and exclusion by reminding myself of everything positive in my life. I have friends and family who love me and I don’t need to go out to that party or dinner if I don’t feel up to it! The people I truly value know that I love them because they value my needs. Anyone who doesn’t understand that isn’t worth putting time and effort in to get their approval.
These small adjustments have made me realize that I didn’t need to make any drastic changes to my life in order to improve my confidence and mental health. These changes have made me realize that my beauty and ability were inside me all along and that I needed to be able to put in some work to embrace them. My journey isn’t over, and I know I have a lot of work cut out for me. I can’t wait to see what other habits and investments I can use to help myself grow.
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