I know what everybody’s thinking reading the title – how could two things nowhere near related be exactly the same? Well, initially I thought the same thing. However, being a veteran in one area (therapy) and having experience in the other (speed dating), has shown me that these two are practically identical. The only key difference is that one is used to confront your problems, while the other is often used to run away from it all. Besides this issue, speed dating and therapy make you experience the same heartstopping feelings.
In therapy, the first few sessions are always extremely awkward. You’re panicking and nervous to see if the person you have been emailing fits. By fit, I mean, are they going to give you the right advice? Are you going to feel more comfortable opening up to them down the line? Also, do they even listen to/understand the problems that you’re plagued with? Unfortunately, I learned the hard way with my first therapist. Being 14/15, I was aimlessly searching for help and thought that I was receiving it. It took another person in my life to explain that she and I were not a great fit, and that was okay. So, I swore off seeing therapists for the next few years because of my unsuccessful first try. Eventually, I realized that I needed professional help and admitting I was going to therapy was healthy. Yes, the evaluation process is always nerve-wracking. However, with practice, I slowly have become an expert in navigating my emotions and therapists.
Speed dating is a guaranteed interesting night – and hopefully, not usually, you end up getting what you came for. Before even getting into the event, a mini panic attack ensues and you’re sitting there wondering if you even want to do this. For someone with anxiety, even the idea of speed dating can take its toll. With that said, I don’t discourage trying speed dating. Putting yourself in uncomfortable situations can lead you to meeting people you would have never met otherwise. Despite that positive, a few negative emotions always become apparent and often can cloud your judgment/experience. The initial emotion that continuously appears is denial. Denial is a funny emotion because you purposefully put up a wall to not let your guard down. It is exceedingly unhealthy, yet I fall victim to it every time. The other emotion, probably the most unsettling, is fear. Fear that you will not enjoy your time; fear that you’re not good enough; fear that this night will be a waste of time. Fear is a damaging emotion that does not benefit you in any way. These two emotions present in speed dating are the exact emotions at the forefront of therapy.
The first few sessions of therapy make your body feel the same physiological and emotional responses as speed dating. The nervousness, the fear, the denial, the frustration are all expected. It’s what you do with that mental headspace in both situations can lead you to a great experience.