College is a great experience, and with that experience comes many new adventures and opportunities that can often make me forget about myself. Between new friends, new places to go, new people to see, as well as the workload and commitment that come with being involved in the school community, I sometimes find myself trying to think of the last time I had any alone time.
Alone time, for someone like me, is essential. I love my time alone because it’s when I can finally take a deep breath and forget about the background noise of life. Each semester I return to campus, I find myself in the same predicament: constantly busy and neglecting my own needs. At first, I tried to consider the gym my alone time. Although that can work for some people, for me, it still didn’t feel as though I was truly alone and able to reflect on my day. I now consider the gym my “active alone time,” but the struggle was finding “relaxing alone time.” The key is to set boundaries.
I had to set boundaries for myself, even if that meant telling my housemates that I couldn’t hang out at night, or I needed an hour or so with my door locked. It can be hard to create those boundaries because we often want to socialize. We want to be doing everything that we can, especially after the lockdown we all experienced for the past year.
When you finally have that alone time, even if it isn’t every day, make sure to use it to do whatever you please. That might mean watching Netflix, writing in your journal, browsing for clothes, or reading a book . Whatever it may be, just do whatever you want. Don’t feel pressured to reflect on the day if you don’t want to, don’t feel obliged to do something to stimulate your mind. Be as lazy as you need to be if that will help you. Everyone has their own style of alone time, and yours doesn’t need to reflect your best friend’s.
I usually like to take my alone time at the end of the day, when all the stress from that day is done. That way, I can relax a lot more. There are so many hours in the day, but sometimes it really just feels like there aren’t enough. It is important to remember that you are the most important person in your life — no matter what, this is your life.
We typically don’t neglect the relationships with the people we love, so why do we often neglect our relationship with ourselves? Every time I feel as though I’m being selfish, I remind myself of this: I come first. Spending time alone is the only way to genuinely get to know yourself, and as you get older, that relationship with yourself becomes more important than ever.Â
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