I know, I know. We’re all about peace and love and killing with kindness these days. But before you decide to hate on my hating, hear me out. I think it’s time we normalize being a hater.
Gossiping with friends, hate-watching a corny movie — it feels good to choose violence every now and then. No, seriously. It could even be cathartic. That’s exactly why I say you listen to the devil on your shoulder and express the hatred in your heart.
What’s a hater?
I’m glad you asked. A hater is someone who openly and proudly dislikes someone or something. It could be with or without reason, harmless or hurtful, but the inner hater I encourage you to embrace is the former. There’s always a line we shouldn’t cross.
Chances are, you already are a hater. Think of that one song you can’t stand when you hear it play. Do you have strong stances on controversial subjects such as whether pineapple belongs on pizza? It totally does, by the way. If this sounds like you, congratulations. You’re on the path to becoming a certified hater.
Wait…isn’t that bad?
Hating is actually healthy. When we hate, we’re expressing our feelings instead of burying them. Allowing negative emotions to fester is far more damaging than the alternative. Anger is also the most common coping mechanism, so it’s comfortable for us to sit with.
Let’s enter our villain eras together!
Being a hater doesn’t necessarily have to come from a place of negativity, though. I like to think of hating as speaking your truth. Haters are willing to share their ideas and opinions regardless of what the popular majority may think. Making the conscious decision not to conform is freeing in my experience and many others.
Before I identified as a hater, I was a people pleaser. I held my tongue when I should have said something because it was easier. I went along with what everyone else wanted so I wouldn’t disappoint them. Even though I haven’t completely grown out of these habits, I’m trying to. Tapping into my hateful side definitely helps.
Feel those feelings
I don’t know about you, but if I hear that “everything happens for a reason” one more time, I’m going to lose it. We’re surrounded by toxic positivity, and it’s exhausting. Toxic positivity is another way of dismissing our emotions by forcing ourselves to be positive. It’s an avoidant response we use to mask ourselves and to try to cheer up others.
However, toxic positivity tends to have the opposite effect. It’s invalidating. It also stunts us mentally and emotionally because acknowledging our feelings — even the bad ones — is how we grow and progress.
Toxic positivity is all the more reason to be a hater; to counteract the fakeness with something real. Hating is honest, bold, and brave. It takes courage. By being haters, we can learn to be more confident in ourselves. We trust ourselves more and doubt ourselves less.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: normalize hating!
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