If you are a frequent user of TikTok or Instagram, you may have come across videos showcasing women dressed up in nice clothes, with their makeup and hair done-up, in a pristine kitchen, cooking an elaborate meal for their young children. These videos often contain voiceovers in which these moms speak soft and daintily, and maintain a soft smile throughout the video, an expression some have coined as “the lobotomy smile.”
The women who create these videos call themselves tradwives, short for traditional wife. The tradwife is a revival of the 1950s woman: she submits to her husband, cooks food from scratch for the entire family, and maintains a clean and well decorated home — all while also maintaining her doll-like appearance. Although some of those who post this content reject any association with the far right, the idea of the traditional wife is deeply intertwined to conservative values.
Oftentimes, these videos are disguised as other forms of content, such as healthy eating, makeup tutorials, and fashion content. In some videos, tradwives will show off recipes for common children’s snacks like Pop-Tarts or Cheez-Its. To the naive viewer, it looks like a mom taking extra time to make her child food, when in reality, this content can have a shameful undertone to women who don’t. The voiceovers often include “facts” about how processed food is bad for kids and indirectly blames moms who lack the time to prepare food from scratch for their children’s ill health.
In other videos, you may see women doing their makeup with an array of expensive products. These videos may have titles like “POV: Your husband is on the way home” and play into the tradwife narrative that women should serve their husband.
Based on my analysis thus far, the tradwife role certainly seems to go against many feminist values. However, in response to this content, many argue that the key value of feminism is a women’s right to decide her career path and make her own life choices. Sure, the tradwife surrenders her sense of choice to her husband, but she is still the one who makes that call. She is not being abused or threatened into this role; she holds the genuine belief that she is subordinate to her husband.
Where it gets tricky to hold the belief that these women are not being anti-feminist lies in their choice to post this content on social media. In the age of influencers and social media as a tool for advertising, the defense that one is simply sharing their daily life is null. The decision to film, edit, and post these videos outlines the agenda of the tradwife community: to use aesthetics, fear-mongering, and a return to femininity as persuasive tools.
When young and impressionable girls come across this content on TikTok, they are more likely to be influenced by this content. Jezer Morton, a columnist for The Cut does not believe that the subculture is overall anti-feminist, but shared concerns with NPR that these videos may be dissuading girls from pursuing a college education, a clear step backwards in terms of women’s rights. While young women should absolutely have a choice as to whether or not they attend college, they should be discussing their options with family, teachers, and counselors, rather than a social media community.
Ash Sarkar, a British journalist, also summarized well why many view the subculture as anti-feminist: “[these videos] say that being a woman or expressing your femininity fully means doing all the domestic labor.” Going back to the idea of social media as a tool for influencing the public, these women promote the message that being a tradwife is the “correct” way to be a woman. This undermines the achievements and success of women who have full-time jobs, or even just exist as stay at home moms who don’t dress up every day and cook food from scratch, but instead rush from one activity to the next for the sake of their children.
The difference between an average stay at home mom and tradwife also illustrates how this subculture is one reserved for those of higher classes. In order to have the time to spend hours making cereal from scratch, it can be assumed that these women have enough familial wealth to not work, can afford expensive kitchen gadgets, and most likely have some form of childcare and housecleaning services.
Women like popular TikToker Nara Smith hardly ever show themselves doing more mundane chores like scrubbing the bathroom or washing the dishes, instead focusing on cooking and lifestyle content. While yes, her account is meant for aesthetic purposes, an important part of being a feminist social media influencer is transparency. Nara does not share much of her life beyond her cooking and fashion.
Moreover, many women who self-identify as tradwives choose to dress in 1950s style, which is far from cheap. Content creator Estee WIlliams showcased her dress from Miss Candy Floss, which cost around $160 USD. At that price, building an entire wardrobe of 1950’s fashion would cost thousands.
Overall, it is hard to definitively label the culture as feminist or anti-feminist. A large issue with current social media algorithms is that they push reactionary content, meaning the most radical tradwives likely get the most views, giving the entire subculture a bad rap. Like any social media content, the key is to consume wisely, staying away from videos which contain clear red flags, and being open to a wide variety of information instead of becoming stuck in a tradwife vacuum chamber.
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