I’ve finally reached the era of “Nasty Nineteen,” and I couldn’t be any happier! There’s still the lingering feeling of fear for new changes and getting older, but there’s also the excitement of entering a new age. Getting older is a mix of different feelings, and I’m going to reflect on that today.
The Fear of Getting Older
I noticed as I’ve become older, I’ve become more attentive to my physical features. One day I was looking in the mirror and I noticed I had forehead wrinkles. It freaked me out because I never had those until now. It made me realize that this is the time where my face and body becomes more mature and I lose my “baby face.” It almost made me sad because one day my face won’t ever look this young again. But, it also made me realize that it’s natural and it’s not bad in any way, it just means I’m becoming a new version of myself.
Not only do I think about my physical appearance aging, I think about the new responsibilities that come with getting older. The thought of bills, working full-time, paying off debt, and trying to survive in this economy! It’s honestly so scary to think about. Also, not knowing how to do most “adult things” gives me so much anxiety because I don’t want to do the wrong thing. Although getting older comes with more responsibilities and possibly more struggles, I believe in the end I’ll be okay. I have to remember that every adult has to go through this moment in their life where they’re figuring things out, and also learning how to do things. I’m truly not alone and it’s okay to ask for help!
It’s funny I said that last part because I always see people having their lives together or knowing what to do, which is another one of my fears about getting older… falling behind! Or, feeling like you’re not up to everyone’s speed in life. Sometimes I wonder what my life and my friends’ lives are gonna be like in five years. Who will get married first? What jobs will we have? Who is going to be the successful millionaire of the group? It’s such a bad habit, but I can’t help but think about the possibilities of my future and the people I care about.
The Brighter Side
Although I have these fears and anxieties about getting older, they’re not my biggest enemy. This is because as I get older, I experience new things — especially good things that make up for these negative feelings. For example, going to college was definitely a scary process because it’s such a big milestone in my life. However, the fear slowly went away once I found a way to make it my safe place, by creating meaningful relationships, going to fun events, trying new things, exploring different places, and overall taking a leap of faith. As I get older, I realized I have more fun and excitement because I am able to do things on my own and have more opportunities to experience life. There may be other things still in the back of my mind, but I always tell myself to focus on the present. I remind myself to also focus on the people I love, my passions, and everything that makes me happy, because just because I am getting older, it doesn’t mean they disappear. They can also grow with me, and be there by my side.
As I get older a lot of things change in my life and surroundings. Whether I’ve had positive or negative experiences, I learn new things from those experiences that made me who I am today, which is why I’m overall grateful for being a new age!
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