A Letter to the One That Left

People go in and out of your life all the time for different reasons. I like to see everyone living their life as a line that crosses paths with others. And sometimes, someone else’s line goes in the same direction as yours for a while but eventually, these lines switch directions and leave. It’s an aspect of life, unfortunately, and one that I’ve seemed to come across a lot. Despite the frequency of it happening, it never seemed to get any easier. 

Letting go is by far one of the hardest experiences I have come across in my life. Letting go of people, of love, of things you want, of memories, of feelings. Letting go of someone who meant a lot to you. 

It is definitely a strange feeling to think of someone you used to talk to every day, and not know them anymore. Not know how their day was, or who they’ve become, or how the hell it even got to this point. 

You’ve been gone for about a month now but there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about you. It’s weird because in some sense I barely knew you. I mean, I talked to you every single day for a year, but what did that time really mean? If it was so easy for you to just leave. One thing is for certain: I always wanted the best for you. I was there for you when it seemed like no one else was, I always encouraged you with your work and I made you smile. And so did you to me. I was your favorite person. Or so you said. 

Somehow, I think life got in the way. I’m not going to lie; you leaving stung. You became one of my best friends in a very short amount of time. I’ll never understand why some things happened the way they did and there are alot of questions I don’t think I’ll ever get the answer to.  But I think it might have been for the best. I think it made me realize that I am okay being on my own. 

I’ve taken care of myself a lot since you left. I took up running, I’ve sent out applications to many things I’ve been putting off, I started taking a step away from my phone and just overall, focusing on myself. 

I don’t regret this past year. You made me happier than I feel like I’ve been in a long time but most importantly, you taught me to love myself. And when you left, it forced me to pick up the pieces and put me back together. It made me strong and showed me the strength I should feel in myself. I know I have to continue moving forward, living and thriving, working towards my goals, and finding out more about myself and life. No one has the power to do all that, but me. You taught me confidence and to find a place of self-love in myself that even you leaving can’t take away. From now on, I will always remember that to make myself happy before anyone else.

So, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to feel love and to be loved. Thank you for the memories I could never forget and thank you for teaching me strength. It made me realize that life and love aren’t a fairytale (as much as I want it to be) and that sometimes, no matter how hard you try, some things just aren’t meant to be. 

One thing is for certain: It always happens for a reason.