Dear fellow single Collegiettes,
Why do we feel the need to find boyfriends? I entered college to get an education that will help me with my career, my future – but every day, I find myself wondering when the boy I like will text me, if anybody will talk to me at this weekend’s parties, if I’m going to land a boyfriend any time soon.
I think us girls get a lot of pressure to find a boy and make him our boyfriend in college. I wonder why we’re encouraged to settle down, while boys are encouraged to date and sleep around, and not consider the possibility of a girlfriend until college is almost over.
Why are we asked to lower our standards in order to find a man? Why, when boys decide it’s the time to find a girlfriend, do they look for girls with pristine reputations – not a lot of boyfriends or notches on their bedposts? Us Collegiettes are taught to settle, but boys are taught to explore. Why haven’t these ancient expectations for either gender changed?
Our families, friends, and even the media underestimate our need to experiment and explore our options. They just assume we all want long-term boyfriends, who turn into husbands, four kids and a house with a white picket fence.
This is what is projected on us, that’s what we grow up being told to desire, and that’s why, when things don’t work out, we feel like failures.
We need to understand that’s it’s okay to explore; it’s okay to experiment; it’s okay to be promiscuous and consider our options. We need to find ourselves before we find anyone else, despite what other people are telling us. Don’t feel so pressured to settle down, girls – you’ll end up lowering your expectations just to find someone, and nobody deserves that.
Chin up, girls – it’ll all work out someday. For the time being, enjoy being single. Enjoy what’s left of college, and don’t ever settle. There’s plenty of time to settle down in the future.
HCXO,
Mariah