If you’ve been on TikTok recently, you might have seen one of the many edits of Pedro Pascal that have been circulating these past few weeks. Well, if you’re wondering why he’s suddenly getting so much attention, it probably has something to do with the release of his new, highly anticipated HBO series, The Last of Us, in which he plays the character, Joel, alongside Bella Ramsey who plays Ellie. In case you don’t already know, the show is an adaptation of the already popular and beloved video game which goes by the same name. The story takes place in a post-apocalyptic world where a fungus (cordyceps) adapts to infect humans and turns them into zombie-like creatures. Now, if you’ve played the game or watched the show, you know that surviving in this world is no walk in the park; and while I’m no survivalist like Bill, I am creative, so I’ve put together this guide — of arguably unhelpful advice — that might just help you last in The Last of Us universe.
So, your first move is to stock up on food, canned goods, and protective gear? Nah. My advice: stock up on music. Spotify this, Apple Music that, who cares — because it won’t exist when the world falls apart. First of all, the outbreak in the show takes place in 2003, so forget about all the streaming services you love. And even if the outbreak were to happen in 2023, chances are, the Internet is low on the list of priorities. But do you know what is a priority? Music. So, it’s time to stock up on all the physical copies of your favorite music so that you might get to hear them again.
Now, listen up, because if you think your period is a pain to deal with now, imagine how annoying it’ll be when society collapses. In episode three, we see Ellie find tampons in an abandoned convenience store, which is a major score for her because even if the flow is heavy, the tampon and pad supply is light. So, start learning to use a reusable cloth… or maybe we can use our apocalyptic opportunity to really kickstart the free-bleed movement. Oh, and before I forget, grab some condoms while you’re at it; safe sex doesn’t end just because the world does.
Most importantly, do what SZA would do and get yourself a “big boy”. I’m sure we’re all perfectly capable of protecting ourselves in an apocalypse…but just in case, get yourself a Joel. Find a Tess. Fall in love with a doomsday prepper and live out the rest of your days mooching off their resources. In any case, anyone who can provide just a little bit of protection is probably worth getting to know.
And last but not least, you need to know how to survive “the infected,” because those guys can run. My advice: invest in some roller skates. C’mon, I know you have a pair stuffed in the back of your closet from 2020, during our own global pandemic when TikTok convinced you roller-skating was all the rage. Well, time to break them out again because when “the infected” are sprinting at you, you probably want a pair of wheels to help you get away faster. Whip out the 90s Walkman that I convinced you to get, hit play, and roll away from all your apocalyptic troubles. Good luck!
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