This year’s self-isolation has robbed us of way too many quintessential aspects of campus life, from the stir-fry at Frank to unexpected (but never unwanted) @goodboyoncampus sightings. But the thing that is most particularly tragic to me is the fact that thousands of freshmen and transfer students are missing out on the beautiful ups and downs of living in a dorm.
I think most UMass students generally agree that each residential area is characterized by a unique kind of energy. Whether or not you like it, the dorm you live in really does shape you! And even if you manage to resist the powerful influence of your residential area, you’re bound to end your on-campus experience with some pretty strong opinions about it.
So whether you’re (A) a student who hasn’t had the chance to live on campus yet and is struggling to make a decision or (B) just curious about which area fits your vibes perfectly, I’ve got the guide for you! (Plus, in case you’re dissatisfied, each section also has an alternative option for your sign, so don’t worry — I’ve got you covered.)
Aries: Southwest
As a sign, Aries is known for loudness, passion, and bold energy: interestingly enough, so is Southwest! In general, Southwest is characterized by its fiery spirit and this undeniable flamboyance, which is perfect for the stereotypical Aries. Alternative: If you’re more introverted or have a softer moon sign, Central is the place for you. It’s got just the right amount of boldness without being overwhelmingly Southwest-y!
Taurus: Northeast
Northeast has this quiet and serious aura at first, but is super lively once you find a close circle of friends there. In a similar way, Taurus is known for appearing reserved on the outside but secretly full of energy and emotion that they only share with the people they’re closest to. Alternative: If you’ve got more extroverted placements dominating your chart, you might be interested in Central. Central embodies Taurus’ relaxed energy while also being just a bit more spontaneous and wild!
Gemini: Southwest
Mercury is the planet of communication, and it’s no surprise that Gemini is ruled by it. Geminis love communication and interaction, and which dorm embodies these more than Southwest? For the stereotypical Gemini, this hive of social butterflies is the place to be. Alternative: If the rest of your chart is a little softer, Orchard Hill might speak to you more. Like Southwest, the hallways can get chaotic, but the larger rooms give you all the space you need to recharge!
Cancer: Orchard Hill
Cancer loves peace, quiet and the perfect amount of social interaction: Orchard Hill is here to provide just that. Since the rooms in Orchard Hill dorms are close to each other, you’re bound to make friends without the company ever getting too overwhelming. Alternative: If the rest of your chart demands some more energy and action, Northeast is perfect. It’s full of life and action, but still manages to preserve the peace and quiet that a Cancer demands!
Leo: Southwest
Leo’s lives center on themselves, and which residential area embodies that energy more than Southwest? Like Leos, Southwest residents are known to be outgoing and a little wild: plus, the massive, flashy Southwest towers scream “LOOK AT ME” in the most Leo-esque way possible. Alternative: If the rest of your chart isn’t as loud, the Commonwealth Honors College is a great option. Much like most Honors College students, Leos are passionate and ambitious, making this the perfect place for them to thrive!
Virgo: Northeast
Virgos may be self-sufficient or focused on themselves but they have this warm and welcoming energy that balances it out: Northeast is pretty much just like that! Just like Virgos, Northeast residents have a reputation of being serious and driven on the surface but warm once you get to know them. Alternative: If the rest of your chart makes you more relaxed, Sylvan is perfect for you. It’s quiet and isolated, and the option of living with your friends is ideal — assuming you’re not as picky as the stereotypical Virgo!
Libra: Central
Libra’s all about balance, and Central is — by definition — right in the middle! The atmosphere in Central truly is just perfectly in between chill and chaotic. Plus, Libra’s known for being charming in a quirky way, which is pretty much the most accurate description of Central. Alternative: If your other placements are on the shy side, Northeast is the ideal place for you. It’s definitely quieter, but has just the right amount of warmth and liveliness to keep the usually sociable Libra sane!
Scorpio: Sylvan
Before I get a horde of Scorpios sending me death threats, hear me out: privacy, comfort, and a small space shared with just your best friends. Plus, the stereotype about Scorpios being dark and mysterious seems to align perfectly with the overall vibe of Sylvan. Alternative: In case you’re not as secretive as the usual Scorpio, Northeast is the place for you. The atmosphere is generally more convivial than Sylvan, but it still maintains the same quiet coziness!
Sagittarius: Commonwealth Honors College
If you thought I was going to pick Southwest for every fire sign, think again! Sagittarius people are known for their idealism and adventurousness, and the Honors College is exactly both of these qualities can thrive. Plus, Honors College students have an amazing sense of community, which is ideal for the super-friendly Sagittarius. Alternative: If the rest of your chart isn’t as outgoing, Orchard Hill is a great option. Sagittarius loves 1) having a lot of space and 2) exercise, and the O-Hill dorms are here to provide just those things!
Capricorn: Orchard Hill
Beyond the idea that Capricorn people and Orchard Hill are both somewhat cold and distant, there’s definitely other (read: more positive) reasons for this choice. Although Orchard Hill dorms are a little removed from the rest of campus, it exudes this sense of comfort and steadiness traditionally associated with Capricorn. Alternative: If your other placements make you more extroverted, Northeast is the best alternative for you. Northeast has the same comfort and steadiness as Orchard Hill, but balances it out by being just a little more sociable and accessible!
Aquarius: Commonwealth Honors College
Aquarius is known for being on the unique and quirky side. The Honors College is an area of enlightenment in its own way, which makes it the perfect platform for an Aquarius to share all the random wisdom they have about life. Alternative: Aquarius people tend to seem distant, but if the rest of your chart makes you more social and friendly, Central is the place for you. It’s got a similar set of unique and quirky residents, but is just a little louder and bolder as a whole!
Pisces: Central
In a way, Pisces is kind of made for Central (and vice versa). Ruled by the planet Neptune, they’re dreamy and a little lost, much like most people at Central. Central residents are also known to be artsy and creative, which are traits often associated with Pisces. Alternative: If you have more outgoing placements in the rest of your chart, Southwest might be the best choice. Its artsy energy is pretty similar to that of Central — the biggest difference is just that Southwest is about a thousand times louder!
Sun signs can’t explain everything, so in case this article left you feeling dissatisfied and misrepresented, look up your moon sign and go over the whole thing again! And if you’re still unsure about how much you trust the powers of the universe, don’t worry. At the end of the day, every UMass dorm is beautiful and charming in its own way, and it is 100% possible to fit in anywhere regardless of what the stars (or I) say.