I started therapy about six months ago. At the time, I was in a really stressful place in my life. Everything had been so overwhelming and I felt so alone, confused, and misunderstood. I didn’t know what to do, that was until I finally got the validation that I’d been needing to hear for a long time.
Growing up, I was a very shy little girl. I did not want to participate in any activity unless I had someone I knew there with me along the way, practically holding my hand through it all. A follower, not a leader. I was most comfortable with the few people that I knew, including my family and a small number of people I called my friends, and that was enough for me. When I came to college, into a place where I knew nobody and there wasn’t anyone to hold my hand through the uncomfortable moments, I had to start doing things by myself, for myself. This was a very difficult adjustment. I knew that I was supported and loved, but I never quite felt like my feelings were understood.
When I started therapy last spring, I was so glad to have finally found an outlet where my thoughts, feelings, and experiences could be talked through. I became more comfortable in challenging myself, something I did not have enough confidence to do until being encouraged by my therapist, who gave me the validation I needed and made me not feel alone with my feelings. She taught me to start taking accountability and celebrating myself for small accomplishments I have going through my daily life. This meant acknowledging some of the new things I had to encounter in college — like going to the dining hall by myself, learning how to work out at the gym, and joining a club on campus — and giving myself credit for trying it out on my own. These are very typical everyday things, so why should I even think twice about it? Celebrating your small victories will give you a sense of pride, making you feel good about yourself and bringing positivity into your day. For a while, I struggled with self-confidence and was afraid to start something new on my own. Something as simple as going somewhere by myself seemed a little scary. Through this new mindset that I’ve gained, I affirm myself that I can face uncomfortable situations by giving myself the time to gain security and learn in new situations. It gives me a more positive approach to trying new things so that I have something to be proud of myself for.
But that lack of confidence still never fully went away. To this day, it causes me to be pretty indecisive, which is another thing that this affirmation has been helping me greatly with. Not only am I indecisive about choosing one thing or the other, but I often feel confused or doubtful about how and why I might be feeling a certain way. I’ve learned to start thinking through it, giving myself the time to touch upon my emotions. How am I feeling right now? Upset, or maybe stressed? What could be causing that? I actively try to rid my fear of the unknown and the “what ifs” that come with decision-making, and instead tell myself that it is okay to feel uncomfortable and to not know what to do or what is to come. I recognize that I am not the only one who feels this way and that I can learn from my mistakes and decisions. Some things are not my decision to make and are out of my control. Taking time to think things through now allows me to proudly celebrate other small but significant accomplishments, like addressing my thoughts and feelings and being better able to communicate them to others and myself.
I’m not by any means saying that I have it all figured out now. I might never. But thanks to this affirmation that gave me so much validation in my life, I’m now much more comfortable with navigating my feelings and experiences as a work in progress. Different things that we face every day provide us with something to be proud of ourselves for. Something as simple as taking pride in things that I’ve accomplished has completely altered the way I go throughout my day-to-day life. “Small” accomplishments are only as small as you make them! Stepping out of your comfort zone is definitely something to be proud of, so show yourself some love by going out there and trying something new.
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