When we were younger, we didn’t really question what was put in front of us like we do as young adults today. Times have changed for little kids, as a trip to the playground is becoming more and more outdated for a way to spend your afternoon on a play-date. Instead, kids are moving towards a more technological, less imaginative childhood. As the current teen-young adult generation grows older, we can now look back at some of the products and pastimes that were once considered ‘fun.’
While these facts may be saddening, at least we can finally say good riddance to these incredibly strange kids toys:
Wiggly Water Tube
Honestly let’s not beat around the bush about this one. This basically taught little kids how to go to second/third base. You let it slide in and out of your hand while trying to grip it, and you stuck your fingers in the inner part. What was this even intended for? Was this a stress toy? Was this just some sick entrepreneurs version of a joke? Regardless of what it was intended for, let’s just be thankful that these are no longer on the market.
Sticky Hand
WTF was the point of this? You had a gummy-like hand attached to a gummy-like string hanging off of it. You threw it at walls? You watched it collect a repulsive amount of dust and dirt? Sounds really sanitary…
Peeing Babies (or anything that pees and poops)
WHY?! Just why. Why was this such a desirable toy? Why do little girls love starting out on the motherly track so early by tending to incontinent plastic babies? Apparently there was something incredibly fun about giving a little TLC to a toy that produces an unidentified yellow or brown substance.
Ugly Dolls
These were just flat out weird. I still don’t understand why someone would want to cuddle with a ‘stuffed animal’ that looked like a mutilated, rejected toy pulled from a dumpster. They were supposed to look distressed and looked like they were chewed by a rabid stray dog. They were so soft, too, which made them irresistible. If I were a parent today and saw a child on the street with one of them in hand, I would be very concerned.
Crazy Bones
Was there even really a point to these shiny plastic trinkets? I’m not sure if there was a game to be played or not, but as far as I remember you just kind of collected a bunch of scary looking hard plastic things. Really stimulating if you ask me…
Furbies
Okay, okay… so looking at it front-on you might not think it’s THAT weird. Like sure it’s creepy looking (what is it, a bird?), but until it opens its mouth and eyes you have no idea what’s about to be unleashed. It makes absolutely zero sense and the only thing I can think of is how this may have been an early version of interactive talking with inanimate objects (aka Siri).
Vibrating Harry Potter Broom Stick
No explanation necessary. Just so unwarranted for 8 year olds to be straddling a vibrating stick wedged in between their crotches.