Throughout our academic lives, there has always been the one daunting question that hangs over our heads: “What do I want to do in the future?” This question stems from our teachers, family members, and friends asking us the question of where we see ourselves later down the line in our lives. Although this question seems simple, it has a lot of layers and holds a lot of weight, which, for a university student like myself, can often feel like a burden more than anything else.
Before you enter university, you are faced with a crossroads of a decision: What major will you choose? At that moment, you have a passion, something you are excited about, or perhaps you have no clue; both are okay. However, you still make a decision at that given moment. I had also been at that crossroads, and I decided that majoring in psychology would be best for me because I had an interest and romantic idea of my college experience if I chose that path.
Now, in my third year of undergrad in Psychology, I sometimes sit down and truly think, what exactly will I do when I graduate? Once, I was at one crossroads; now, I am facing another. A feeling of fear accompanies that question: Where does it come from? I will say that it comes from the idea that, as a university student, we are under immense pressure. We’re forced to grapple with the underlying feeling of uncertainty and doubt about what we are pursuing within our education and that we must have our entire lives mapped out by the decisions we made for ourselves beginning at, for most people, 18 years old.
When you reach a point where you feel uncertain about your current path, it can feel overwhelming, almost as if you feel like you made the wrong decision or wasted your time on something you don’t even know you will want to do for the rest of your life. In my personal experience, while I love psychology, I often find myself daydreaming of going down a path I truly have a passion for. I have many passions, like reading and writing; when I was younger, I always thought I would become an author, but I was influenced to choose otherwise because there “wasn’t” money in that line of work.
This considers the topic of navigating unfulfilled dreams as a university student. At its core, this emotion involves a strong desire or dissatisfaction with one’s current path, frequently resulting from a mismatch between personal goals and the outside world. Embarking on the path of university as a young adult is no easy feat, and with it comes doubt and a sense of feeling that you are not fulfilling your deepest passions. My personal feelings may not align with your experiences, which is okay; however, if you have experienced these feelings, know that you are not alone, and there are ways to overcome this obstacle and redirect your sense of purpose! Optimism will always overcome hardship.
Navigating feelings of lostness
Through the power of deep self-reflection and taking the time to explore what truly ignites your enthusiasm and drives your curiosity, you can begin to create a more authentic path forward. Sometimes, this could mean taking a class that interests you or joining a new club. Life does not need to end just because you didn’t make the “right” decision for your path. I will admit that feeling lost and uncertain is something I feel regularly, and it’s not easy to combat and feel okay about. I don’t think it is as simple as making the best of my current situation or moving on, but a better way to look at this feeling is to look at what your passions and goals mean to you and what about it represents you as a person so that you can repurpose these feelings and transform them into something that you can carry forward with you.
Of course, this is easier said than done in many instances, but the first part of navigating through lostness is to recognize that you feel stuck or lost in the first place. In other words, it is like shining the light on a dark place to explore it. In college, we may feel like it’s the end destination with the major(s), minor(s), or electives we choose. But it does not determine our path or who we will be in the future. College is meant for exploration, discovery, and growth, and we can often get overwhelmed by the idea that we must be at this point by a certain time. A great example is seeing your peers getting accepted into internships or other opportunities that might make you feel behind. Or that you are at a point in your major where it doesn’t excite you as much as it did. Don’t fret because you’re not alone!
Right now, I am at my own crossroads. I don’t know what I will do, and I don’t fully know if I absolutely love my major. However, I know this isn’t the end, and what matters is what I make of my studies and experiences that can open new doors to different possibilities and opportunities later down the line. What I also have found helpful is not forgetting what your actual passions are and thinking about what you can do with your passions that can align with your major, or if not, see how you can turn your passion into something you can incorporate into your everyday life! There are endless opportunities ahead of you; it is okay to feel stuck, but know it is not the end. Sometimes, being stuck can be the turning point where you discover new things about yourself and what you want to change, or it gives you the space to grow within yourself.
Recently, I have come across a quote from We The Urban, a platform seen on many different social media accounts, including Instagram, that honors inclusivity, marginalized voices, and self-love. The quote said, “The secret to getting unstuck is to radically accept where you are now, with grace. Let go of expecting perfection out of yourself. You won’t always be your most productive, make perfect decisions, or get it right. A little self-compassion will take you a long way.” This quote speaks volumes and holds a lot of truth to it. When you feel stuck and you feel like there is no way out of it, keep in mind that it is okay, and accept yourself and your feelings for what they are. Especially as a college student now and even later down the line, remember that you are allowed to explore, discover, and experience new things that add something positive to your life. You do not need to feel confined to anything that doesn’t bring you joy or peace, at the end of the day we are only happy if we surround ourselves with the things that bring that happiness. Lostness does not last forever, and eventually, the light at the end of the tunnel will find its way toward you.