NEW YEAR, NEW YOU: FIVE RESOLUTIONS THAT FOCUS ON PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION

In just a few weeks, it will be that time of the year again when we’ll usher in the new year by watching the ball drop, celebrating with friends and family, looking back on the year we had, and then looking forward to what is ahead. Inevitably, in this process, we’ll make big, grand, and overpromising New Year’s resolutions that we think we can accomplish as we are swept up in the excitement of what the year could bring. I don’t know about you, but I’d wager that, like me, you’ve rarely accomplished any of those grandiose resolutions like reading a lot of books or learning that time-consuming and expensive hobby. As a result, you feel bad about yourself and feel like you “failed” and have to try better next year. The reality is that we are not failures, but we are setting ourselves up for failure with unrealistic goals. I mean, think about it: What makes you think that you can totally reinvent yourself in just one year?

Improving ourselves should not be seen as a race or competition. It may be easy to think so if you get caught up in the perfectionist and overachiever culture that makes it seem like someone is always a few steps ahead of you, and thus, you always feel a sense of needing to perpetually “catch up.” However, comparing yourself to others is unproductive and will only ever make you feel bad about yourself. You are your own unique self, and thus, the rate or way in which you improve and grow is going to be totally different from what others may be able to achieve in a given time frame. 

While going into the new year, we should be kinder to ourselves and strive for small, meaningful, and sustainable changes rather than driving to strive for perfection, inevitably failing to reach it, and then feeling worse about ourselves than when we began. We can start this by not engaging in toxic comparison culture and instead setting New Year’s resolutions that are genuinely attainable based on where we are at and where we want to be before the following year. New Year’s resolutions should be about reflection and then setting ourselves up for success and growth by starting small and incorporating little changes into our lives that, over time, can completely transform our lives.

1. Limit your screen time by a few hours

I feel like almost every year, after realizing how dependent and addicted I have become to my phone, I come up with some unrealistic goals, like trying to be on my phone only when absolutely necessary or completely quitting social media. Of course, I get frustrated by the apps I download to force me to limit my screen time, and I just end up rage quitting, deleting them, and then reverting to my bad screen time habits. Setting a goal like limiting your screen time by only hours is a much more realistic and measurable goal. You don’t have to completely change your phone usage overnight; you can make a small change that is easier to stick to and can later develop in intensity. You start with making a small tweak to your habits, like setting your phone aside a little before you go to bed or staying off your phone for a while when you have downtime and doing something else to pass the time, like reading. 

2. Dedicate a few minutes at the beginning and end of the day to cleaning your space 

Instead of worrying about being totally organized, always having a spotless space, etc., you can set a way more realistic goal of dedicating a small amount of time every day to cleaning things up. Trying to be always spotless and organized can be overwhelming and lead to burnout. Life happens, and we don’t always have the time or energy to have a color-coded wardrobe, meticulously cleaned counters, or a bed made every morning. Instead, make a commitment to yourself to take some time to clean here and there throughout the day in order to build this habit and create a routine. I personally do this, and it has helped me to keep my space relatively clean without the pressure to have a Pinterest-level aesthetic room and instead build the habit of regularly cleaning. This small habit gives me more energy and confidence to clean more deeply and regularly since I have already been able to do a little each day and feel inspired to do more by its effects. 

3. Prioritize moving your body in whatever way you want

Instead of setting harmful and unrealistic expectations surrounding your weight and/or appearance, set healthy, sustainable, and realistic goals that prioritize your well-being and health instead of goals that could threaten those. If you are a beginner, something as simple as prioritizing moving your body in whatever way feels best every day is a good way to start. Maybe it’s nice outside, so you want to take an outdoor walk, or maybe you saw a dance workout on your FYP you want to try. Rather than trying to go to the gym all the time when you have never had that habit before, it creates a more sustainable habit if you just commit to exercising in a way that is easily attainable and realistic to incorporate into your daily routine. Then maybe the next year or sometime throughout the year, when you feel good about where you are at, you can slowly set and reach new goals that increase in intensity and commitment. 

4. Pre-plan one get-together a month

If you want to make new friends or deepen your pre-existing friendships without overextending yourself or not having enough time for other commitments, try intentionally setting aside at least one block of time a month to do something with your friends. It could be something elaborate like planning a night on the town or as simple as a commitment to staying in one night, hanging out, and ordering food. Whatever it be, starting small with a goal of at least one night of pre-planned fun can help you reach your social goals without jeopardizing your other commitments or draining your social battery too quickly. 

5. Get an app that tracks your spending and set aside some money from your paycheck

For all the borderline shopaholics like me, I know limiting our spending and saving money is a big priority that we promise will take hold in the new year and then eventually fail. One thing that has helped me slowly start to curb this habit is at least being aware of the extent of it. I downloaded an app that breaks down how much I’ve spent in a given time period, the most frequent places I shop, and a whole bunch of other statistics about how I spend my money. It was really eye-opening to see how the little things here and there really added up and how much of my paycheck I was not saving. If you’re like me, at least being aware of your spending can be a realistic start to eventually curbing your unnecessary and abundant spending habits. From there, you can make a small and attainable goal, like just saving a small percentage of your paycheck in a savings account, which can really add up in the long run and get you in the habit of being more aware of your spending and the benefits of saving.

The above logic can apply to any goal you want to achieve; no matter what your goal going into the New Year is, start small and realistic. To make sure a goal or habit sticks, it is important that you can genuinely obtain it and that it does not wreck your mental or physical health in the process. Progress is not a sprint but a journey, so make sure to keep that in mind. In order to have healthy habits, you need to build a solid foundation first. It may be frustrating when you want to see immediate change and feel like everyone else is “ahead” of you, but it is better to start slow and be realistic rather than rushing to get to where you think others are and burning out in the process. Strive for progress, not perfection, and always make sure to give yourself grace along the way.