The fear of missing out, commonly known as “FOMO,” is a feeling that we are all familiar with, whether or not we like to admit it. While it is very normal to feel left out, especially in college with so many fun events constantly happening all around you, sometimes this feeling of FOMO can cause one to become overwhelmed with feelings of sadness and loneliness. We’ve definitely all had those nights where we sit bitterly in the Ugli on a popular night to go out, or see photos from a birthday dinner we weren’t invited to. While sometimes the feeling of being left out is unavoidable, here are some tips to help reduce this fear of missing out:
- Stay off Snapchat
Snapchat, a weirdly popular app where people exchange pictures of their faces as a form of communication, can really heighten these feelings of FOMO. Snapchat’s feature called “my story,” where one can upload pictures or videos that are visible to all of one’s contacts, is especially harmful. The common motivation in uploading something to one’s story is to literally broadcast one’s activities as cool or desirable in the face of others. So, on nights out, it is common to see stories hundreds of seconds long of people dancing at clubs or riding in ubers. When I am sitting in my bed alone on a Friday night and see stories filled with people having fun going out, it makes me feel pretty discouraged. Two questions always go through my mind in these instances: first, “where was my invite to go out with these people?” Second, “should I be going out right now?” So, if you are vulnerable to feeling missing out, going on snapchat will likely make you feel insecure in not doing whatever is projected on people’s stories and will make you wonder why your friends didn’t invite you to do the super fun activity they are doing. So, just stay off of it. Also, spoiler, the activity being presented on the “story” is usually way less fun than it appears; people just want you to think it’s fun, that’s the key.
2) Fully involve yourself in what you’re doing
If you find out that your friends are doing something without you, do not dwell. Instead, decide to fully engage yourself in whatever it is that you’re doing instead. For example, if you chose to spend spring break with your mom like I did last year instead of going on a crazy trip with friends, focus on making the most out of that trip. Or if you chose to stay in and watch Netflix, choose a really good show or movie and get into it. If you choose to involve yourself fully in what you are doing, you’ll forget what you’re not doing and thus will not feel left out.
3) Be bold
Instead of sulking because you see pictures of your friends doing something without you, give yourself a little pep talk and be bold. You wish you were there? Well, why don’t you be? Here’s an easy solution: text your friends and ask them if you can join. Worst case scenario your friends say no, and, if they do say no, I hate to break it to you but they aren’t very good friends. Make some new ones. The best way to avoid the fear of missing out is not missing out at all!
4) Focus on the long term benefit
This tip mostly applies to people who choose to stay in and do work rather than go out and do something fun. Let’s face it: there is no fun part being one of the only kids in the library when you know that most people are out having a good time. However, take a step back and think about the long term benefit. What are you eventually gaining through staying in instead of going out? Maybe it’s an A on that research paper that you are starting ahead of time instead of saving until the night before it is due. Maybe it’s the successful completion of application that will land you a really cool job. Whatever it is, remember why you are staying in and what you will accomplish by doing so.
5) Distinguish between the events that are important and inconsequential
Evaluate what it really is that you are missing. Is it a small get together with friends or a big concert? If small get-togethers are important to you and you know that you would regret missing it in the future, make the decision to go. But, if it is not that important to you and know that in the long run it won’t make a difference whether you choose to go or not, then maybe skip it. Same reasoning goes for the concert, or any event, and each person places a different value on events according to personal preferences. Regret is ultimately a worse feeling than FOMO, so really sit down and think about what it is you are missing to guide you in making a good decision about what you choose to do that day/night.
While college is a very exciting and fun place, it does not come without occasional feelings of loneliness and a fear of missing out. While these feelings are sometimes inevitable, I hope that these tips can help you lessen these negative feelings when they do arise.
Images courtesy of: www.tlnt.com, Tech Crunch,