PSA: IT’S APRIL. If you’re anything like me (and have been hibernating in your bed with your laptop and 27 jars of peanut butter for the last three months) then that may come as a bit of a shock. I don’t know how, but things went from zero to 100 real damn fast. I feel like the holidays literally just happened, and I may have continued the tradition of eating my weight in chocolate and lasagnas for more than the usual two weeks after…as in that’s what I had for breakfast today…
Anyway, finals are fast approaching (fml), and with the end of school comes the excitement of laying poolside for four straight months. Unfortunately, I may have taken “treat yo self” a bit too far this semester and have seriously, seriously embraced my winter body. Even though I have about -500% motivation, I have been trying out some different techniques to motivate myself, and I’ll be honest with you, that summer body is starting to look A LOT more like my winter body.
1. “Tomorrow when you go to the gym, literally drag me with you”
Expectation:
I mean hello, if I work out with my friends it can’t be that bad, right?? RIGHT??
Reality:
WRONGGGG. Surprise surprise, guess who didn’t end up going to the gym!!
2. “I’m NOT going to go to the Dining Hall anymore”
Expectation:
Kk screw working out, I’m just gonna focus on my eating habits. If I only eat out, then I can just buy salads for lunch and dinners and have instant oats for breakfast!! Plus, I’ve always wanted to insta an acai bowl.
I must have had mild amnesia and forgotten that I’m a broke AF college student. Goodbye dreams of kale smoothies and fresh greens, hello greasy (but delicious) pizza and approximately 12 packets of instant oatmeal a day (also delicious).
3. “I am only going to eat at the DHall”
Expectation:
Scratch the old plan, UMich has got to have some healthy options, right? I’ve already paid for the dining plan, I might as well use it. I’ll just be smart about it. Lots of fruits and lots of veggies.
Reality:
Is there a Cereal Anonymous addiction group? Asking for a friend…
4. “Lets try going to the Chobani Yogurt bar for lunch.
Expectation:
We’re going to be so ~healthy~ and ~hip~ at the same time. We’re basically eating froyo for a meal…it just happens to be melted.
Reality:
We may or may not have gone to the dining hall for a second lunch of Mac and Cheese…emphasis on the may.
5. “My tax returns are going to good use”
Expectation:
If I buy a new spring outfit, I’m obvi going to want to show it off. Maybe retail therapy really can solve the winter blues and help me deal with my winter body.
Reality:
*Looks in mirror*. Nah, I’m good.
I’m currently researching the health effects of tapeworms (joking) and the possibility that Harbaugh will let me work out with the team (not joking). I’ll keep you posted on my progress.
WINTER BODY 5EVER.
Images courtesy of Giphy and Tumblr.