If you ever need a push to make a change, go spend some time with young girls. After that, all you’ll ever want to do is make this world into a kinder, more accepting place for them to live. Little “feminist issues” will suddenly multiply in urgency. Once you see the unique skills and passions that girls have, you won’t be able to rest until you know that this world gives them they opportunities they need to succeed. Things that didn’t bother you before will suddenly consume you with anger: sexist magazine headlines, TV shows that portrays females as “just a pretty face”, ads that insinuate that scientists or engineers or doctors are only men. Our girls exist in this world! Our girls are going to see all of this! Our smart, strong, funny, independent girls! We need to do something about it! And we need to do it fast, before the world convinces them that they’re anything less than unstoppable. I, on my own, can’t change our entire culture for these girls. So instead I’ve come up a own comprehensive list of things that you and I and everyone else can do to collectively help transform this world into a better home for our girls. Join me on this journey!
1. Be inspired and then go forth and inspire
My mom is a lawyer, and, because of that, I spent a large chunk of my childhood thinking that “lawyer” was stereotypically a “woman’s job”. I like to think that positively affected my view of the world. When someone mentioned “lawyer” while listing off career choices, most of my peers probably pictured men, but I pictured a smart, loving woman. While the movies I saw and magazines I read portrayed mostly images of women who were valued for their looks, the women I knew in real life showed me that there was more to womanhood than that.
Just as my mom positively affected my view of the word “woman”, it’s my duty to do the same for all the wonderful girls in my life. And BTW, you don’t need to be a lawyer or any kind of career woman to do that. I definitely don’t give off career woman vibes. In fact, I probably give off the vibe that I would, for example, have Justin Bieber’s face on one of my pillowcases and Tom Brady’s on the other. (Yeah, it’s a pretty specific vibe.) This doesn’t make me any less of a role model than my mom! I do everything I can to be kind. I’m considerate and accepting of others and I have high goals for myself and take pride in my work ethic. I hope that those qualities will affect the way the little girls in my life perceive the word “woman”. I hope that, regardless of what is portrayed to them in the media or in different areas of their lives, they can remember me and realize that women have the power to be smart and brave and confident.
2. Realize you’re “the worst”
Sometimes I worry that I’m simply unqualified to be a role model for all the amazing girls in my life. I make a lot of mistakes. I’m really bad at practicing what I preach. Let’s be real. We’re all kinda crap at this whole “feminism” and “girl power” thing. Oh, well. What can you do but learn from your mistakes and move on?
3. Exist
Luckily, you don’t have to be Beyonce or Sheryl Sandberg to change to world. You pretty much just have to exist. Fairly doable.
The other day, I was hanging out with Belén, one of my best friends who also happens to be a five-year-old I babysit. We were having one of our average Wednesday evening conversations about dismantling the patriarchy (except I think we might have worded it slightly differently), and I asked her how she would respond if someone said she couldn’t do something because she’s a girl. She grinned. “I would say, fine, watch! And then I would do it.”
It doesn’t have to be that big of a deal to change the world. Most of us do it every day just by existing. A hundred years ago it was unheard of for women to go to college. And here I am saying, “Fine, watch!” Maybe people in your life think you can’t get a certain job, or that you can’t have a certain major, or that you can’t simultaneously be a badass feminist and a stay-at-home mom (you totally can). If you want to change the world, then all you have to do is say “fine, watch!”
4. Be encouraged
This next generation of girls, they’re pretty incredible. And if you don’t believe me, go spend some time with them. I’m gonna give you a quick disclaimer that they’ll probably annoy you and frustrate you and they’ll definitely confuse you (they won’t ask you for Snapchat but they’ll ask how many followers you have on Musical.ly.) But I promise that they’ll also leave you thinking, “Wow. There really is hope for this world.”
The world is already becoming a much better place. All we have to do is take part in the movement.
5. If all else fails, ask Skylur
Another one of my best friends is a five-year-old named Skylur who I also babysit. Skylur is, for the record, super cool and smart. I was brainstorming this article one morning as we were playing Shopkins, and I decided to ask Skylur what she would say to girls who feel as though they’re not good enough. She hesitated a bit, pensively, and then said, “Don’t worry, I can train them!” So there you go. If you have any issues with promoting girl power, just hit up my girl Skylur.
Note: if you want to get involved in this cause more specifically, look into She’s the First, Alternatives for Girls, GEMS, and Agape International Missions
All images courtesy of Hannah Harshe