Freshman year of college comes with many new experiences: a new environment, new friends, and a chance to pursue or discover what you’re passionate about. These opportunity-filled endeavors, while exciting, nerve-wracking, and everything in between can also create pressure to have the “ideal” experience and expectations that aren’t always met. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my freshman year experience. But were there parts of this year that I thought would be different? Definitely. Although I don’t know if I’d change anything given the chance to do it all again, there are a few things I’ve realized since being in college that I know will stick with me throughout the next three years.
1. Your fomo is lying to you.
FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) might seem like every Thursday night the college weekend begins and everyone is getting ready to go out, this is not the case. Sure, it’s nice to get an early start to the weekend some Thursdays, but the reality is that the majority of the time, everyone else is studying, catching up on sleep, or relaxing, just like you are. Think about it: if all of your friends are busy doing homework Thursday night, then you’re not missing out on any social event because nobody else is going out that night either. There will be plenty of opportunities to socialize and have fun, so don’t put pressure on yourself to go out all the time! Sometimes it’s nice to just watch TV, read, or even get a head start on your homework.
2. Join more clubs (even if they’re kind of random).
On the topic of FOMO, if you’re still not satisfied with your social life, join more clubs! One thing I regretted my first semester was not joining enough clubs, and while it may seem like it’s too late to join an organization once the club-fair buzz has died down, I can guarantee you that it’s not. Most clubs will welcome you with open arms, no matter what point you are in the semester. Joining clubs is a great way to explore your passions, meet new people, and fill up your time with something fun or meaningful. Even if the club you decide seems different from what you’re used to, there’s no harm in trying it out. At worst, you waste an hour and never go back, but at best, you find a community of great friends.
3. Don’t be afraid to do things on your own.
For me, this was much easier to do in the first few weeks of college when nobody knew me and I felt like I didn’t have anything to lose. As I settled into college more, I started feeling like more people would notice or care if I was doing something on my own. Looking back, I know now that everyone is in their own world and nobody is going to judge you (or even notice) if you do something by yourself, so do what you want to do even if you do it alone. I promise you won’t regret it. (And if you do, you never have to do it again). You never know what you’ll get out of it unless you try!
4. Accept people as they are.
Whether it’s friends, roommates, or classmates, everyone is different (especially in college where people come from all different backgrounds and upbringings). Your friendships may not be like what you see in the movies, and that’s okay. Maybe your friends prioritize a relationship over your friendship or have a different lifestyle than you. While it can be hard to understand or deal with, the only thing you can do is accept it. You can’t change others, so either accept who they are, or if you don’t want them in your life, then it’s okay to move on. Everyone has different priorities, responsibilities, and world-views, and finding a way to be okay with that will bring peace in your life and allow you to be compassionate to others.
5. It’s okay to lose friends, and even go back to ones you grew distant from.
College is a place of trial and error for everyone. You most likely will not stay friends with the person you had lunch with at orientation, for one reason or another, and that’s totally okay. You don’t have to vibe with everyone you meet. It’s up to you who you want to have in your life, and it’s okay to go back to people you lost touch with, even if it’s been a while.
6. know that it’s okay if your semester or your year didn’t go as planned.
Almost everyone has some expectations of college that don’t come to fruition and that’s okay. Some expectations are flawed and unrealistic, but don’t let that take away from the good moments that you’ve had, and the journey that college has been so far. Even if Instagram makes it look like everyone else has had the movie-like college experience, it’s probably not true, so don’t compare yourself to others. Also, there are three more years ahead of you! There is still a lot of time to make college what you want it to be, and now that you’ve experienced a full year of college, you (mostly) know what to expect.
7. Be proud of yourself and appreciate where you are.
It’s easy to get caught up in the future when you first enter college. Questions like “What will I major in? How can I make the most of college? What can I do to create the most memories?” might be on the list in your mind. At the same time, with such a big change, it’s normal to think about the past: your high school friends, your family, and your hometown. Between daydreaming about the future, and reminiscing about nostalgic memories, take a moment to realize and appreciate where you are in your life; being in college was likely a goal you were working towards at one point, so soak in the moment and be proud of what you accomplished. You deserve it!
Whether you’re finishing up your freshman year, about to start college, or even if you’ve been in college for a while, let go of your expectations and worries. Everyone’s journey is different, and one way or another you’ll figure it all out. In the meantime, just enjoy the ride.