For the longest time, I would ask myself this question after every decision made, big or small. Did I make the right choice? Is this going to change everything? Is this going to change me? Am I going to be happy? These doubts would cloud the thought-processing part of my brain for every choice I made, so much so that at times I did not want to choose. So, having made some pretty big life decisions in the last few months, some advice has granted me what every decision-maker wants: peace.
Creating change in your life can be uncomfortable. For a while, you will not know if that decision was right or wrong. There will be a constant voice in your head sparking doubt and uncertainty as you endeavor into this new phase of life. However, reminding yourself that who you are now and who you want to be are two different things; those doubts only know your past self and not where you want to be in life.
What would you do if you were not afraid? It’s a question I often ask myself before making a decision. If I weren’t scared, would I do something that could change my life? An indication that I made the right choice shines through in my courage–- knowing that I am doing something authentic, brave, and for myself reduces my anxiety about any given situation. While committing to a college, for example, choosing my dream school was one of the scariest decisions I had ever made. However, as I asked myself this question, the first thing I thought of was starting a new chapter of my life at the University of Michigan. Feeling more confident and at peace after making a decision is another way to know it was the right choice. Letting yourself experience the “good” that comes with hard decisions will allow you to feel a greater understanding of your actions, behaviors, and feelings relating to that topic.
You are never going to know until you know. Fear of the unknown and anxiety towards change can either cause you to lose sight of what you want in life or move forward into a new, unknown chapter. Although it’s hard to take the first step of making a decision, it can be harder to accept the consequences without being overwhelmed. Know that no matter the decision, your choices might be your own but you are never alone in them. Reaching out to a friend, partner, or even a therapist can help you gain a greater sense of clarity and peace. Although I cannot tell you if you made the right decision or not, I know that living in fear is harder than living in doubt. So take a step back, take a deep breath, and take trust in the fact that your fear does not control your choices– you do.