As school starts back up, the likelihood of finding a romantic relationship goes up because you’re meeting new people every day. Relationships are about balance and being willing to consider one another’s needs. But at the same time, all members have to be entirely invested. Even when you’re tired. Even when you’re mad. Even when you’re stressed. You deserve enough because you are enough.
Regardless of what type of relationship you’re in, communicating with your partner(s) is crucial. However, it may be uncomfortable. He is some inspiration for what to look for in a positive relationship.
1. Intimate moments that aren’t precursors to sex
From forehead kisses to hugs from behind, everyone deserves appreciation. If physical actions aren’t your thing, maybe it’s little notes every day or reading in the same room together. Sharing peaceful moments with you should be your significant other’s priority.
2. Compliments (creative or generic)
Anything from “I love the way you can just sit next to me and calm me down,” to “Your eyes are beautiful” should be something you give and receive. Peter Kavinsky showed us it’s possible to weave compliments into normal conversation and we should expect nothing less (or at least an effort)!
3. Being asked out spontaneously
The stress of being the only planner in your relationship is heavy. It shouldn’t be assumed that you’ll be able hang out whenever they are free. The excitement that comes with being asked out by your partner shouldn’t diminish just because you’re in an exclusive relationship.
4. Questions about your life
Communication is key to any relationship and someone who can’t share the time isn’t allowing you to fit into their space. Being able to tie in details that were mentioned in the past shows that you were listening then and you’re still listening now.
5. Time without electronics
If they can’t cut away from Fortnite or Snapchat for 2 hours then why are you still waiting for them to read your mind?
6. Demonstrated interest in your passions
Of course you might not be interested in all the same things but hey, you guys can watch a football game together or each other’s favorite TV show. Whether it’s finishing the Man Booker long list or watching Golden Girls with your sister, you should find a person who is comfortable with your geeking out.
7. Consideration for your side of the support system
Maybe it’s buying your parents flowers when they meet or hanging out with your friends. You shouldn’t feel isolated when you’re in a relationship. Your partner should expand your system, not divide it.
8. Guiltlessness about who you are
From your family to where you grew up, a partner shouldn’t make you feel ashamed about aspects of your life. You should be able to talk about your background without feeling like you need to filter anything to make them comfortable. Those moments of sharing are what real intimacy is built upon.
9. Remember: It’s all about adding happiness to your life
If you love them, tell them! (Á la Peter Kavinsky’s lacrosse field confession.) If you’re always analyzing your partner’s texts for assurance that they aren’t going to break up with you, you should ask why you feel insecure. Hiding your feelings causes more problems than just being open and honest.
Relationships are about finding an amazing person who has unique qualities that encourage you to share more private parts of your life with them comfortably. If a relationship causes you more stress than happiness, is it really worth it?