Social media objectively allows us to communicate more frequently. Whether it be in the form of mass communication like a TV show or podcast, micro-mass communication like an Instagram post or story, or interpersonal communication through a text or snap, we communicate online nonstop. At the same time, social media can inaccurately skew our perceived levels of closeness between us and our friends, family, and online personalities.
As a second-semester sophomore in college, I’ve recently begun to reevaluate my ability to stay updated on my home-friends lives by viewing their social media posts and stories. Oftentimes as my mom asks, “How’s so-and-so (insert close friend’s name)?”, I find myself answering, “Good, she’s having a lot of fun at school.” I say this not because I’ve recently talked to my friend, but because I’ve been watching her frequent Snapchat private story content. Many of my friends have active Finstas and exclusive private stories which they regularly post on. These updates consist of videos from their nights out, funny quotes that their school friends have uttered, and flashbacks of Snapchat memories from high school. Though I stalk my friend’s accounts religiously, viewing their daily posts and stories, I concluded that I was having less interpersonal exchanges than I thought. I have a few friends who I FaceTime consistently, but I’ve lately realized that the extent to which I thought I was catching up from my friends compared to the time I was actually catching up with them did not align. A lack of back and forth communication can illustrate a lack of closeness in that moment.
Keeping up with close friends via social media updates isn’t the only way in which social media contorts perceived closeness to individuals. Consistently viewing “authentic” posts by celebrities and influencers often puts viewers under the false impression that they “know” these people. Heated comment sections filled with fans and articles describing insignificant influencer drama insinuates that social media users feel unrealistically close to online personalities. This same imagined closeness is what builds credibility for brand deals, fills auditoriums when influencers are on tour, and breaks hearts when that same influencer gets cancelled on the internet. Influencer authenticity is not a bad thing. However it likely follows a specific agenda.Â
Connor Wood, who goes by “Fibula” on social media, is a comedian and influencer. His brand is imperfection. He frequently posts on TikTok and Instagram, describing hilariously embarrassing things that happened to him at the airport, or at restaurants, or on a run. This type of vulnerability is still part of a greater cultivation of his image, which is to portray that he is funny. Fibula selectively chooses to share these perfectly imperfect moments. He doesn’t share imperfect moments that misalign with his comedic brand. For that reason, though he portrays himself as vulnerable and authentic to his audience, we still only know a certain side of Fibula that he purposefully chooses to share. Â
Other influencers like Jake Shane and Alix Earle utilize the same tactic to engage with their fans. Fans in Shane’s comment section often write that they “feel like they’re on FaceTime” with him due to his hilarious best-friend-like online presence. Earle’s brand, “Hot Mess,” self-evidently leans into this ideal. Through her podcast and TikToks, Earle cultivates a very specific image—one that’s messy and imperfect. While this may also be true, she and her team deliberately select snippets of her life to share with her audience, as well as aspects of her persona to keep private. These influencers do a good job of forming relationships with their audience to the point of making their viewers feel like they really do know them. Of course in reality, they don’t.
Frequency of viewing various people online distorts viewers’ perceived closeness and communication with the people they are seeing. Whether it be friends and family who you see online or internet personalities, social media can play tricks on the mind. Social media has been a great tool for keeping up with people during times apart like the pandemic, during moves, or when my friends and I are away from each other at college. It can also be detrimental to relationships when people forget that viewership does not equate to interpersonal interaction. Perceived closeness to influencers is evident of the effect that chronic posting has on viewers and relationships.