I’m at a new restaurant with friends. Delectable aromas waft through the stylish restaurant, as we sip water to curb our hunger. The waiter finally brings out my food and, rather than digging into the dish I’ve been craving, my first thought is, “food pic on Instagram!” Many of us are privy to this obsession with social media. According to the Pew Research Center, 72% of adults use social networking sites. Most of these users are young adults ages 18 to 29. Even more so, users check these sites multiple times per day. According to the Edison research, 23% of Facebook users check the site at least 5 times per day. The statistics aren’t that shocking when I recount my days and realize that I’ve fallen into the “Social Habit,” prioritizing my Facebook newsfeed checks before brushing my teeth or eating meals. At social events, I’ve found myself and friends focusing on documenting the night on social media rather than enjoying the parties! Noticing this trend has disturbed me, so I decided to go on a self-induced social media detox for 14 days. For me, that meant no Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or Tumblr.
Why 14 days? My goal is not to boycott these sites, but rather to bring my usage down to a healthy level. I hoped to learn through this temporary social media cut-off how to utilize the sites to enhance my life, wihtout them becoming my life. Think about it like working out; initially you have to fight through the pain of conditioning your body to get to the end result of a fitter, stronger version of yourself. I approached this social media experiment as an internal battle to strengthen my willpower and improve my mind. For those of you who think I am crazy right now for even attempting this, it was a rejuvenating experience. I’ve included tips on how you too can break away from the social habit!
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Entry Day 1:
Today was a struggle. I didn’t realize how many minutes of the day I spent involuntarily/automatically clicking through Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – even if it’s for 5 minutes. I literally wake up in the morning and, through groggy eyes, will automatically go on my mobile Facebook and keep clicking until my body wakes up.
The good thing is I got through a lot of work, even when I was procrastinating, because my channels of procrastination were limited. Granted, I did resort to a “Melissa and Joey” marathon on ABC family and clicked through Her Campus articles every so often. However, when it was time to work, without the temptation of the social media sites on my computer, I was highly efficient.
Cons: I just went to two weddings and an out-of-state trip and I know that people are most likely commenting on these photos and I can’t look at them! But really, I guess it’s forcing me to decrease my vanity. Also, since it’s summer I have even less to do, which is wonderful, but with my social media ban, it takes away one of my guilty pleasures – creeping on people through casual clicks. I’m hoping the first day off is the worst and I’ll get better over time. On another note, it’s actually harder to communicate with people since I’m so used to Facebook messaging rather than texting.
I’m so used to Facebook serving as my bedtime story to lull me to sleep, as I incessantly click away until I end up on the page of some long lost friend. No more of that today, just sleep.
Lesson of the day: Social media is like a drug, the only difference is that you can break away more easily than real drugs without any long-lasting consequences. So, if you are a social media junkie like me, take baby steps and log off for a day or two to allow your mind to breathe outside of the social networking craziness.
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Entry Day 2:
So I semi-caved on my ban today. I clicked on Facebook so very briefly (30 seconds), only to see if any notifications popped up. Sure enough…there was that sweet red box with a number 12 on it beckoning me! I quickly clicked out of Facebook before I did anything I would regret. I didn’t look at anything else, but somehow just knowing that I had notifications – that knowledge enough was mildly satisfying, like when you think you might be hungry, but don’t want to eat, so you inhale the delicious aromas of freshly cooked food to curb your appetite for just a little while longer.
I would say that I am more focused at times, but I have channeled my procrastination to other methods, like say the “Jersey Shore” or “L.A. Hair” marathons going on today. However, there’s relief in not knowing everyone’s business for once in years. I think it forces me to focus on my present moment and to not compare or inspect other people’s lives. And I realized, I don’t even go on Facebook to post on other people’s walls, but actually to just know that I am receiving attention from these online “friends.” Why do that? Half of these people I haven’t seen in forever and probably will not see ever again. Accepting that fact and that the amount of “likes” or “comments” I receive on my pictures or statuses is not really important has relieved such a heavy psychological burden from my shoulders.
The addiction has not stopped, but I am slowly but surely trying.
Funny enough, I needed to use Facebook today to access a photo and quotes on my “About Me” page for an essay I’m writing, but due to my self ban, I had to bug my dear friends to screenshot or send me the above necessities. It’s sad how dependent I am on Facebook for actual information and archives of things. Also, I actually find Instagram more addicting than Facebook since it’s so quick and visual, but since my ban, I feel like I live under a rock and know nothing about anyone.
Lesson of the day: Re-evaluate why you use these social media sites and if it’s necessary for you to use them so frequently throughout the day. Discover new hobbies or revisit old ones that diverge from the use of your cellphones and computers.
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Entry Day 3:
The downfalls of my Facebook ban: There are truly are beautiful aspects of Facebook. The fact that it records your conversations, comments, posts in real time and holds them in this giant database so you can scroll back on your past life events at any time is amazing.
So, I decided I want to change my look. Ever since I was 14, I have dyed, highlighted, drastically cut my hair, or all of the above. For the past 1.5 years, I have let my hair grow out to its natural color and now am bored. Today, I had a craving to lighten my hair to a deep cherry brown or burgundy color. I have naturally black hair, and black takes no color. I remember years ago I had a conversation with a friend of mine who is also Bengali, and she’s a pro at coloring hair any shade that she wants. Now, our conversation happened to be on Facebook. You see the dilemma.
I decided to break my ban momentarily to find our conversation. Feeling guilty over this rebellion I did a very focused Facebook search. I only clicked on Facebook messages and searched for our conversation. I couldn’t find it. Damn it. So I quickly clicked on her profile, found her exact photo where her entire hair was red and clicked through the comments and aha! Found our conversation from ages ago.
I do appreciate this aspect of Facebook, to freeze our conversations in time (this may be a good or bad thing), but in this case it was so helpful so I didn’t have to have the same conversation with her again or do my own research when this topic was already covered. However, this experienced reiterated how dependent I am on Facebook for certain information.
Lesson of the day: Social media sites are useful for archives of both professional and personal information and this should be taken advantage of.
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Entry Day 4:
I decided to drop by the library to replace my old hobby of Facebooking, you know that 90s hobby we once had of reading for fun? Instantly, a great artistic photo idea crept into my head to put the books on my deck with a caption “lounging in the summer weather…this is the life” with my library books in an organized stack with the sunset in the background. Then I realized I can’t, though the idea itched at me. I so wanted to add it to my Instagram collection.
My relatives were arriving from Bangladesh tonight, but before then we attended a family party where two of my friends happened to be. The importance of social media was brought to light once again as I mingled with them. As we were just talking, they were so eager to Instagram ourselves and then proceeded to stare at their phones in silence for the next five minutes trying to find the perfect filter. Or they’d scroll through Instagram or Facebook while we were at this party, which should have been entertaining enough.
I felt like the awkward turtle. Because while they’d be clicking away, I’d just be sitting waiting for when our conversation would start up again. We still had a great time, but I did feel that disconnect because they would refer to things they had seen about so and so and I had no idea what they were talking about.
I admitted to them that I was going cold turkey off of these sites for awhile and they teased me. They didn’t see why I had to do this in the first place. That conversation was even more enlightening on why I had to complete my experiment, just to show how drastically it can change the dynamics of everyday life. I hoped to change my focus from recording every aspect of our present and truly living in the moment. I wondered if this social habit is really a bad thing or are people just overexaggerating the effects of social networking?
One time, I was having dinner with my boyfriend and I wanted to Instagram my entree. The angle wasn’t right, the lighting wasn’t right, it just didn’t look as good as it did in real life. So, I was that girl and spent seriously 5 or more minutes trying to perfect this photo to publicize it on Facebook and instagram. My bf was done with 1/3 of his food and there was no conversation. He joked about this, but looking back on it now, I feel awful. That is not proper date etiquette and I missed out on truly experiencing the moment of our time together.
Lesson of the day: At social events, break away from phone usage. It’s okay to take pictures, but filter through them later. Prioritize the event, not proving to all your social media friends that you are indeed having a great time. Those pictures will make their way online soon enough, after the party.
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Entry Day 5:
This was the first day that my aunt and grandmother, who flew all the way from Bangladesh for the first time in 10 years, spent with us. The best part about their presence is that it has forced me to be active, to socialize, and to stay away from my computer and phone.
But then my mom bought me these beautiful new running shoes on our shopping adventure. My first pair ever. They would make such a great Instagram picture. I was honestly ready to break my self-ban at that moment. I mean, what would the harm be? Rather than breaking my promise to myself, I just texted my closest friends about the shoes and stayed away from those deadly social networking sites. That was a little win for me. The urge was strong, but I was stronger.
Lesson of the day: There are other ways to showcase life events through direct communication, phone calls, or texting.
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Entry Day 6:
As I was eating breakfast with my aunt today, she grabbed her computer and told me she had to show me something. Of course it was Facebook related, and I peeked. I didn’t count it really because she showed me a photo that had no relevance to my life. I did feel slightly guilty though, but appreciated that I had no urge to log onto Facebook myself.
Lesson of the day: Gradually, you can break away from the social media urge.
Entry Day 7:
My dad’s car broke down, so I have had no car for a few days. However, I’ve kept myself busy reading and cooking up new recipes with my aunt. No social media urge, so it was a good day.
Lesson of the day: Keep calm and carry on.
Entry Day 8:
Miraculously, the social media fever is leaving me. Cutting off cold turkey has had its bad moments, but breaking the habit is so refreshing.
I started reading this amazing book called “Dark Aemilia” (which I would highly recommend). Now, if I’m bored and feel like procrastinating, I go to Her Campus or Candy Crush (yes, the last option is not so great).
Believe it or not, I don’t feel the urge to even check FB. I’ve realized that whether or not I check it, the world still revolves and people go as they may. Firefox normally has my login username and passwords memorized and autofilled, so that every time I hit these sites, it’d take me 2 seconds to log on. Today, just for the hell of it, I clicked on Facebook and it actually asked me to fill in my username and password! Of course I exed out of the page because my 14-day ban is not yet over.
Don’t get me wrong, social media is an amazing way to connect with people, but the obsession it creates over our need to be validated by others every time we have a special moment is disturbing. Who cares if an old high school acquaintance liked my post about my cute new shoes? I’d rather strut out in those same shoes with people I actually spend time with making memories than ogling over the number of likes I receive over my perfectly filtered Instragram post.
Lesson of the day: You don’t need validation from social media friends to feel good about yourself.
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Entry Day 9:
My timing of this social media ban has been bad because my to-be-graduate school this upcoming fall mainly uses a Facebook group to connect with their students! Now, I’m not allowed to go on the site, hence I am way behind on any updates and will probably show up to school looking like a deer in headlights. Woe is me.
Lesson of the day: Facebook is a great way to connect with higher education institutions.
Entry Day 10:
This whole social media ban isn’t bad at all. I actually don’t even care anymore about these sites. Plus, I have my Florida/DC trip to look forward to, which is in 5 days and then I’m done with this ban anyways!
Lesson of day: Planning frequent events with friends can be a good distraction from spending too much time social networking via the web.
Entry Day 11:
I’ve decided to go through the entire Harry Potter series before med school. Reliving through my childhood feels refreshing and somewhat comforting before diving into a whole new city, rigor, and overall lifestyle of medical school.
I’ve forgotten the beauty of books. College had sucked out every ounce of my energy and distorted my love of books to hatred after every mind-numbing textbook I had to read for classes. Without school to nag me, I’ve allowed myself to sink into the depths of these fictional worlds at my own leisure. To be honest, these books are way more interesting than Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/Pintrest can ever be.
Lesson of the day: Revisit pleasure reading. After college, you may be surprised at how much you enjoy it.
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Entry Day 12:
I’ve channeled my boredom into a new productivity of working on my medical school scholarship essays. Imagine it’s finals week for you and you don’t go on Facebook for a few hours and the amount of focus you have for those few hours at the Ugli/Hatcher…that’s been me times 100.
Now words and ideas are flowing through my mind as skillfully as Shakespeare (ok maybe that’s a little exaggeration), but I feel in the zone during this writing session.
I didn’t even know I was capable of such efficiency since before college.
Lesson of the day: When it’s time to work, eliminate all distractions, including all social media sites. It may exponentially increase your efficiency.
Entry Day 13:
Books, errands, and preparing for Florida/DC has stolen all of my time so the social media ban has induced little worry and thought. Honestly, once you cut yourself off of these sites, you realize you can totally live without them.
Lesson of the day: I could get used to this.
Entry Day 14:
I’m so excited for my trip with friends, because 1) I’ll be too busy having fun to worry about this social media ban and 2) I’ll also be done with the ban to use social media at my leisure. Hilariously ironic, no?
Lesson of the day: See tomorrow’s post, when I learn what that lesson is.
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Entry Day 15:
DONE DONE DONE!
I made it through my ban! Today, I was in a car for 19+ hours with my friends heading to Fort Lauderdale, FL. I had no internet access until 1 AM when we got to the hotel. By that time I was so tired, but just for the hell of it, I clicked on Facebook for a quick Newsfeed scroll. I had over 30 notifications waiting for me and a ton of friend requests…my gift to myself for sticking to this.
Lesson of the day: Social media may never escape me, but I have the willpower to regulate my usage.
Throughout this journey, I questioned my willpower at times to stick to this ban. However, I found that the biggest change I had in my day-to-day interactions was a clear mind that was not dependent on any piece of technology for entertainment or validation. I was focused on the present events and felt relieved to not know about everyone’s business all the time. Social networking does provide advantages in archiving our life events, but people get too carried away in recording the trivial details. I hope that my attempt can encourage you all to break the statistic from the too frequent social media usage. We all lived without these sites before, and we can do it again!
Sources:
*http://www.pewinternet.org/fact-sheets/social-networking-fact-sheet/
*http://www.pewresearch.org/data-trend/media-and-technology/social-networking-use/